Obama Doesn't Care That I'm Sick -- How Will He Save The World?

This is a pity post. If you cannot or will not pity me, feel sorry for me, or send me flowers, please do not read this post.

I am so sick I think I'm gonna die. My nose is stuffed up, even extra-strength, double duty Otrivin isn't doing the trick. My head is about to explode,

my eyes are burning somethin' fierce, and all I have energy for is typing this sentence and moaning softly.

Help. Me.

I am usually a good sickie, but today? Please. Don't even ask.

All day long at work, I sat there filing very important files, meanwhile making sure my left nostril did not drip snot all over the very important papers I was filing. I also sneezed a lot, but always into my sleeve, because that is the proper and sanitary thing to do. I must have used up the equivalent of three boxes of Kleenex, except they had no Kleenex at this office, so I ended up using really rough and cheap toilet paper and paper towel, which ended up making my usually very cute nose look and feel like this:

Now, I ask you, why would my left nostril be draining so consistently all day long? Not the right one. Just the left. What the hell.

Then...then it was time to leave, and I got stuck in traffic up to my hoo ha because Obama was in town. Yup. That's right. The entire Ottawa police force was busy blocking roads, watching traffic and generally looking really official because Obama apparently needs lots of security and they had to close down most major arteries in town, and right at rush hour, which meant that my usual 20-minute drive home took 1.5 hours. That's 90 minutes.

They wouldn't open the roads up again until Barack's plane lifted. Very official and serious security stuff.

So, everyone on the roads was getting all pissed off and stuff, but still acting pretty polite, because we're Canadians. No guns here. The worst we do is honk our horns loudly and sometimes more than once. And then we apologize. And we almost always say please and thank you.

Why they thought they needed the entire police force to protect Barack's butt is beyond me. Most of us don't even own guns, let alone know how to use them. And even if we did, we're too damn nice to. Nice. I hate that word.

We might, however, flog him with a Beavertail. Thank god for that bulletproof glass, eh.

So, I finally get home and I finally sit down and close my eyes, but I'm hungry, because I haven't eaten much today because I haven't been feeling well. It's Mr. Handsome's turn to cook dinner, but he isn't home yet, because he has taken "Dennis" to his swimming lesson because I was still on the damn roadway trying to get home. Taking Dennis to his lesson is usually my job. So, by the time Mr. Handsome got home and got dinner made, it was really really late, which made me a Mrs. Cranky Pants, so I started yelling at "Milly" because she wanted me to drive her to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for her brother's birthday cake, and I accused her of not being very empathetic toward her very ill and dying mother, and did she realize she had another parent sitting right there across from her, doing absolutely nothing and feeling a helluva lot better than I am?????!!!

So, tomorrow should be interesting. I should stay in bed, but I will dutifully go to work, because I am a good little Worker Bee, and because I am sick and tired of "some" people who roll their eyes at me and sigh loudly whenever I proclaim that I'm not feeling very well. So, somehow, by going into work, I will be proving a point. Somehow. I'll tell you how when I figure it out.

Good night.

P.S. This "certain someone" just made me a hot tea after I told her, angrily, that she forgot to make me a tea. Now who feels like an idiot? Sorry, Milly.


Sandi said…
Go sip on some chicken noodle soup and take the day off tomorrow. You have got to get better!
Awww Mary, I hope you feel better soon! Hot tea should help~
Danita said…
Aww I'm sorry you are feeling so terrible! Obama was just here in phoenix, az last week...oy!

Enjoy your tea & get some rest!
Kristen Andrews said…
feel better, I feel like I am fighting something nasty
Barack had some nerve making the roads all congested.. when there you were with your own nose congestion! HOW DARE HE!

I hope you feel better soon or your nose won't be able to fit through the office doorway tomorrow!
Martha H. said…
Sorry that you're sick, but even more sorry that Obama had to ruin your drive home. I hate it when that happens. Happened to me last year, but with Bush. not much fun.
Eudea-Mamia said…
(insert whine) - why didn't you keeeeeeeeeep him?

Did he promise Canada rainbows and unicorns too?

Sorry, loosing more of my tax dollars is making me very cranky.

May I take a hit off your cold medicine?

WV - no lie, focough
Anonymous said…
The first picture looks like I did when I bashed my head on my computer last week.

Feel better, Mary!
kel said…
Oh my god... I cannot look at that first picture... ewww.
Brandy said…
I hope you feel better soon. The only thing worse than being stopped up AND having a runny nose at the same time, is not being able to hear and/or taste food while you're sick.

Those pesky senses work together to torture us while we're sick.

Thanks for stopping by! And commenting! :]
Blonde Goddess said…
I hope you're feeling better soon. Don't make the same mistake I did and keep going even though you should be resting.

one more thing...hasn't the sneezing caused any peeing of the pants? Or am I the only poor slob that's happened to?
♥georgie♥ said…
OMGosh that pic!!! I can so relate just today i am starting to feel like my old self...still not 100% but better
I am sending you hugs and find some vicks vapo rub...I love that stuff oh and nyquil...if all else fails i go get a shot of demerol
Jane! said…
Awww.... I'm hear for you. You just whine away if it makes you feel better.
I'm a right nostril runner, myself. I don'tknow why, either.

You Canadians really are the best, nicest people. And you don't have guns? REally? I need to move to Canada.

Take it easy over the weekend~~~
and feel better!
Poor you! I hope you're feeling better!

Popular posts from this blog

Just call me a dwarf

How About Some Kielbasa Up The Poopshoot?

Soothing My Savage Beasts With The Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder