Holy Mackerel

Well, I'm still waiting for my response from the Fiskars people. They sure take their time. Or perhaps they're just having a difficult time finding a therapist who's willing to take me on as a patient. Either way, I've already got a list of chores for my naked sweaty, shirtless garden boy named Jorge. And a chilled mojito in the fridge for me. I come prepared. Speaking of which, my blood pressure must have gone sky high yesterday as I pulled out of my driveway and saw a truck in front of the house with the words Harry & Hedges, Lawn Maintenance across its side. Jorge had arrived, I thought. And here I was, in the midst of a heat stroke, sweat pouring down my forehead and into my eyes, a drenched puddle of perspiration pooling into my bra cups, looking my best. NOT. Obviously, I was wrong. Harry was at the neighbours', and I saw neither muscular arms nor barely-clothed nethers. Story of my life. I'm expecting an answer from Fiskars today. And a garden b...

We decided to have a nice family night on the weekend, and ended up watching Deliverance . What? We played Hearts afterwards, so it's all good. Mr. Handsome (who is apparently reading my blog again -- read it and weep , buddy) said the movie was entirely inappropriate, and he walked around all serious-like and feigned authoritative license, and then said dinner was ready and we were to shut off the television. I let him know, in no uncertain terms, that the stuff he has allowed the kids to watch (including all those video games that do nothing but glorify violence, blood and gore) is so much worse than anything on Deliverance . Oh, and we won't even go into watching Die Hard on Christmas Eve, and stating that it's a perfectly fine movie to watch on Christmas Eve because -- hello! -- it takes place at Christmas time. Or, how about WWF Smack Down wrestling matches? Or those caged wrestling matches you and Dee seem to adore? Yeah, let's talk about that for a moment, s...

You know what I absolutely hate? Stupid rules, that's what. Stupid rules that stupid people believe they have no choice but to abide by, and then transfer their idiocy so that it greatly impinges upon your life and makes things that much more difficult for you. Like going back to college at my age isn't hard enough. Like knowing I might be the absolute oldest person in all my classes isn't making me want to vomit. As if knowing that the next two-and-a-half years may be some of the hardest years of my life isn't.bad.enough. More about idiots in a moment... So, I did it. I registered for college, for both the paramedic and the practical nursing programs. I should know in a month whether or not I've been accepted into either. In the meantime, I needed transcripts from university and high school to go with my registration, and as luck may have it, I could do it all online, with only a few phone calls to get my student numbers, and a few hundred thousand bajillion mi...