Holy Mackerel

You are not going to believe this, guys! Gowan's my Facebook friend! I KNOW!! Who's Gowan , you're asking? Before I tell you, let me just say that I seem to be the only one around here who is the least bit interested in this, which just makes me very, very sad and disillusioned, actually, with the whole family dynamic. When I found Gowan on Facebook , I decided to "friend" him because, in my tiny brain, he is my friend. I actually met him when he was all hot and sweaty after a show at Barrymore's many many moons ago and I think I may have even touched him and gotten a tiny drop of sweat on my left forearm. So, yeah, I am his friend, and he's really famous, so suck it, all you jealous and envious Gowan-wannabes. No one in the house seemed to care in the least that Gowan friended me back ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. Not only was this guy insanely famous in the 80s and maybe even the 90s, but he's now part of Styx, This is Styx. which makes him even more of...

So what did we do for Valentine's Day, you ask? Not a helluva lot. Why not, you ask? Well, because we are extremely lazy people who would rather sit on our duffs all day long watching the children do battle with one another, and scream things like, "I hate you!" "No, I hate YOU!!". We are the kind of people who were not able to decide what to do. The fact that "Milly" had waterpolo made the decision-making process that much more difficult and prolonged. You see, with waterpolo comes the drive to and from waterpolo, as well as the time constraint involved with said waterpolo. What we thought might be fun would be going out for dinner and a movie. However, Mr. Handsome thought that might be boring. As well, he pointed out that it wouldn't work very well, with Milly's waterpolo game and all. I was feeling really rotten that day too. What else is new, you ask? I ask myself this question every single day. But, enough about me. I then suggested, rat...

So, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I have not got my love a damn thing. Well, I did get him an awesome and totally cool card, but that's it. And for us, that's more than enough. Because all that matters is that we have each other, through good and bad, and better or worse, blahblahblah. As you can tell, we don't get all smarmy and overly romantic over the day, because every day in our house is the Day of Lurve. That's right, folks. Every. Day. In other words, we've learned to basically put up with each other without ending up in prison. Just kidding. Sort of. As we all know, once you've been together for more than, say, a year or so, you start having to learn various coping techniques and dodging strategies just to get through the day. The first year is usually bliss, full of hot sex, lots of necking, holding hands all the time, and making sure not to fart in front of each other. After that, it's a free-for-all. What I mean by this is, the coyness, ...

That wonderful, amazingly romantic and sickeningly nauseating commercial day is upon us once again. Yes, that's right, Valentine's Day is just around the proverbial corner. Please excuse me while I go find a hard surface on which to whack my head repeatedly. You may be getting the sense that I'm one of those Valentine's Day haters. Well, I am and I'm not. The only reason I don't like V-Day much is because it has become extremely commercial (what holiday hasn't?), and I'm thinking it maybe makes people forget that we're supposed to be kind to one another every day, not just the one day a year Hallmark chose. Having said that, I also enjoy it immensely because I usually get flowers and very expensive chocolates from Mr. Handsome, and sometimes even a nice dinner at a restaurant! Yes, it's all about me. What do I get him, you ask? Ummmmm...a card. And all my love, all the time, day and night. That's right. But not just any card. Oh no. It's...