It was Family Day in Ontario yesterday (President's Day in the U.S.). This is only the second year Ontario has celebrated Family Day. Before that, we had no holidays in February, which meant the month was full of doom, gloom, dirty snow, despair and a huge loss of libido. Just ask Mr. Handsome. February has never been an easy month.
That is, until the pronouncement of Family Day by ye gods in provincial government. Now we look forward to the second month of the year because it means an extra day off, except for federal government employees. They don't fall under provincial jurisdiction, so they have to work while the rest of us loll about in our pajamas all day long, drinking margaritas and watching The Duggars
Mr. Handsome works for the federal government, so he doesn't normally get the day off. Last year, he worked while the children and I made snow cones, went to museums and then napped. So, this year, he wisely decided to take the day off, which he honestly deserved since he has put in so many extra hours these past few months, it's a wonder I still remember what the lad looks like. I also desperately needed him to massage my feet and make me a coffee, so he came in quite handy this morning when I finally woke up.
So, I got all excited, because I thought we could finally do something together, as in, like a family, since it was Family Day and all.
I am a planner, I need to know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, how, and why, and where. It's quite irritating to many people, I'm sure. But I don't care, because if it's not about me, who is it about? Exactly my point.
So, here I was on Sunday (and for the past week beforehand), asking Mr. Handsome what he thought we should do on Family Day. His ideas varied a bit, from cleaning the house, to cleaning the bathrooms, to washing the floors, to shovelling the driveway. Very imaginative and creative fellow. And I would retort, "But, that's not what we do on a holiday!" To which Mr. Handsome replied, "We don't do that on any day, dear."
Finally, on Sunday, he said, "I don't know, maybe a movie?"
Holy smokes. Will wonders never cease? A movie. A MOVIE!
Yes, a movie.
So, yesterday, we decided that yes, maybe we could all go to a movie. But, of course, we had to find something that was early enough in the day, but not too early, and something that was interesting enough for the adults to watch, yet something the children could see without getting the Children's Aid Society involved (again).
Well, that in itself took another lifetime to figure out. We perused the movie listings, humming and hawing over every damn movie playing in the city. Confessions of a Shopaholic? Nah. Too girly. It would have been perfect for "Milly" and I, but for the guys? Yeah, right. NOT. Although, now that I think about it, what has Mr. Handsome got to say about this? The guy wears a murse.
How about Billu Barber, I asked, excitement in my voice. It's a comedy, Indian, and was rated for general viewing. No way, no how, the family stated. What in the hell is Billu Barber? Mr. Handsome asked, after realizing I was actually serious. Well, I answered patiently, how will we know unless we go see it?
OK, so we go on and on, through the movies...He's Just Not That Into You, a big no. Pink Panther 2: Mr. Handsome said it was supposed to suck the big wadong. Push, Taken and Underworld were for older audiences. No as well to Hotel for Dogs and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
So, what did we end up seeing? Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Yes, that's right. The movie with Kevin James from The King of Queens sitcom, where he plays an overweight, underachieving mall security officer. Well, before I could utter the "n" in "No way", both "Dennis" and "Milly" shouted that they both desperately wanted to see this
shit movie. Mr. Handsome and I looked at each other, desperate to say no to them, but knowing full well we would go ahead and do it because, if we're not amazing parents, then we're dirt. We also had no other options. And we both like Kevin James, so we thought we'd be nice to the children for a slight change in pace.
Mr. Handsome decided he'd ask his mom to come along, since she is usually so busy going to the opera and cultural events and the like, we thought she might want to witness some real art for a change.
So, off we all went. And you know what? We liked it. I actually guffawed quite loudly numerous times. Even Mr. Handsome, who rarely smiles, could be seen laughing throughout the movie. There's something about Kevin James that makes you like him, and he just knows how to make you laugh at him and with him. The kids loved the movie as well. Thank god for that, or we'd never hear the end of it, let me tell you. There's a cute storyline and plot, which keeps you going to the end, although some of it was a bit silly. But, whatever. I'm not a film critic. Or am I?