Peace and Contention

Bit of a mishy-mashy bish-bash of a blog post today.

Here I sit, feeling very content at the moment. Me?? Content?! Yeah, I know. A rarity, to be sure.

Mr. Handsome has gone to work (yes, on a Saturday -- it's year-end, don'tcha know), Em and Dee have decided to go to the movies to see Monsters vs. Aliens, and I am left alone with Gryphon and the guinea pigs. So, here I sit, in absolute quiet, with the warm sun streaming in through our gargantuan front window, and I feel okay, peaceful even.

It must be spring: the neighbours across the street are emptying out their garage and cleaning. This is what the husband at that house does once the warmer weather hits. I can't wait for spring because he is my entertainment. Every Friday evening, without fail, he begins to empty his garage. Everything comes out and gets put on the lawn. Why, you ask? I don't know. Because what happens after he empties the garage? He puts everything back in. Saturday morning, same thing. Sunday as well.

I've often wanted to go over there and ask him what gives, don't you have anything better and more important to do with your weekends? But he has ignored me pretty much every time I've ever gone over there to be neighbourly. I don't think he likes me. Not sure why.

Then there's the neighbour beside this neighbour, whose mother does all the housework inside and out. Here's this itty bitty woman, her gray hair in a tight bun, running around her daughter's house, swatting rugs, picking up litter off the huge lawn, washing their windows. I'm trying to befriend her so that maybe she'll adopt me, because god knows my windows could use a good cleaning, and I don't have the time for such things. Only problem is, I'm not sure I much like her. She once wanted to call the police because my dad's car was parked on the street, and she didn't know whose car that was, and how dare they park this car on the street? She doesn't even live here! She's the kind of person who needs to know everything, for no other reason than to know. She's nosy, and she's whiny too. Not a good combination, I feel. But she has loads of energy, so I'll keep trying to be nice to her, because a good window washer and rug beater is hard to find.

And then there's the neighbour on the other side of the first neighbour (the one who cleans out his garage three times a weekend). Now, this neighbour tends to do things with his tent trailer when they haven't all gone camping for the weekend. He'll crank the trailer up and set it all up, and look at it. Then his wife comes out, and they both stand there, hands on hips, and they look at it. Then they crank that baby back down again and clean their gutters and stuff. Every weekend.

Then, the neighbour to the left of us, he's a nice guy, but very very quiet, and I've always believed that when a man lives all alone, and doesn't seem to have any friends, and is very quiet, there is something very wrong with him, and so I am trying to get him kicked out of the neighbourhood, because he kind of freaks me out. Once, I was trying to be nice to him at a Neighbourhood Watch meeting, and I offered him a drive home since it was raining out, and he wouldn't get out of the damn car. Like I said, freaky.

The neighbours to the right of us: nice people, but I never see them. They're very private. They have a baby, but I've seen him maybe twice since he was born, and that was a year-and-a-half ago. They do come out, but only to do yardwork and to give us nasty, sideways glances because we don't do yardwork, and apparently, a neat and tidy lawn is very important to these people and makes you closer to god or something. Well, I'm letting them know right now that we don't have the time or the energy to pick up every stray leaf off our lawn, nor do we have the inclination to do so. I think a leaf-strewn lawn is actually preferable. In fact, I think I might throw a couple of dog craps out there as well for good measure.

And me? When I'm done watching all the neighbours, I'm going to clean the house. I actually have a bit of energy today, and although my arthritis is flaring up, I'm going to battle on and get some stuff done because I am sick of not being able to do anything. And plus, I finally went to my doctor yesterday (getting in to see this guy is a whole other blog post in itself), and he told me that there is nothing wrong with me. Nothing. My blood is in better shape than his, he says.

So, I ask, why is it that I always feel like I fell down two flights of stairs and landed in a vat of acid?

He says I'm an enigma. It's just who I am, he says. And I'm guessing that should be a good enough explanation.

Yes, that must be it. I am a healthy healthy person who cannot do a day's work without needing a two-hour nap in the middle of the day, who cannot eat more than one meal a day without being in great pain and discomfort, who has lost over 30 pounds over the last couple of years, and whose every joint and muscle cries out in pain most days. That must just be who I am. I know my Stickler Syndrome probably has something to do with it, but really, don't you think he'd want to do a little more research?

Maybe I have one of those rare orphan diseases, or maybe something completely new and odd that would make him famous were he to discover it, or maybe I just have an alien living inside my body, slowly procreating and causing havoc.

But we'll never know, will we? Not at this rate, anyway.

Neighbour #1 is now vacuuming his car engine, and I am now seething with anger and resentment, so what better time to do some floor mopping? So much for my peaceful Saturday!



Anonymous said…
I know right?! Why do guys empty out the garage to "clean" it and then put everything back in? It's like their own game of tetris.

And we totally have a set of neighbors that do the staring at their camper thing. What's with that?
♥Trina♥ said…
Hey Mary! I'm SO behind on my blog reading, so I'm just reading about everything you've been through lately. I am SO sorry to hear about your mom, as well as everything else that has been going on. You're in my prayers that things will start looking up soon.


Guinea pigs are nice soothing pets.
Anonymous said…
Just a thought here, you've probably had it already - try a new doctor?

Love your blog...
The Retired One said…
Ijust saw that you joined my blog as a "Follower"..thanks SO much!
I love this blog too, and joined yours as a Follower!

Your one neighbor obviously has OCD or something.
I remember going on a walk down a county road that was pretty rural. There was a lady that would rake her gravel and dirt at the end of her driveway into a PATTERN. We'd walk by and by the time we walked by again during our return part of our walk, she would've already been out and had RE-raked the gravel and dirt into a PATTERN again. She must have hated us for walking past her driveway.
People are weird about "their space" aren't they?
I am with you, I like leaves in my yard and they are good mulch in the fall for protecting your lawn.
They need to chill out. ha
Anonymous said…
People vacuum their car engines?

I should clean my garage out too. People do that. Mary, people do that. (hint, hint)
dizzblnd said…
a nice quite day is good. as long as it stays quite. Mine rarely do. Perfectly manicured lawns are for losers! My new neighbors are kinda weird
Lauren said…
Mary, thanks for popping over to my blog. I'm wondering if you have fibromyalgia or similar. Are you open to holistic medicine? I never write about it on my blog but I was dx'd with vulvodynia 10 years ago...and learning about advocating for myself with docs etc...brought me to holistic medicine which over time changed my life. Feel free to email me about this canubapartofmylife at gmail Cheers,
Yaya: Yeah, the whole camper thing is very strange. Boggles the mind.

Trina: Thank you for your hugs. :o)

Laoch: They are, aren't they.

Grace: Hi!! Thank you!! The problem with getting a new dr. is that they are very few and far between here in ONtario. And good ones are impossible to find...they're too busy to accept new patients. :o(

The Retired One: Thank you!!! And your neighbour needs therapy, methinks. Raking the gravel...yikes.

Blueviolet: I'm pretty sure that's what he was doing. He might have been vacuuming AROUND the engine. Not sure...And yes, I suppose we should all clean our garages. I first have to clean the rest of my's in dire need of cleanliness. I did vacuum the living room and hallway though. :o)
Eudae-Mamia said…
It's warm enough in Ontario to clean out the garage.

Yet, we had snow flurries in Dallas this morning.

Maybe Gore really is onto something?

(I think your doc needs a kick in the shin - take care of yourself :-)
Becky said…
Did you ever find anything that actually got through to your daughter? That made her realize how wrong she was? How selfish she was? I am in this exact position. Whatever I do, it isn't enough. I am annoying. I am wrong. I am a not good mother. Anyone have sage advice for this type of relationship?
pam said…
What a great post, I loved reading about the neighbours. I think I may just do one about mine. Then on the other hand, I would wonder how they see me? Have a great weekend.
Becky said…
A messy desk is supposed to be a sign of a creative mind. I guess I must have thrown all my creativity into the trash! ha!

Thanks for stopping by. ~ Becky
Blicky Kitty said…
I have to just block out what my neighbors are doing because I'll feel like too big a slacker! :)

My girls want guinea pigs but the cats think they taste just like chicken. :)
Shana said…
You remind me a bit of Gladys Kravitz!!
CurvyGurl ♥ said…
Mary, I'm quite sure they've tested everything, but some of your symptoms sound eerily similar to how I felt when I was severely anemic. I spent last summer fatigued, feeling like I'd been in a 12 round fight from all the body aches, etc. Finally went to the doc, started talking a super dose iron pill and all that stuff cleared up. We want you to feel better :-).

Popular posts from this blog

Just call me a dwarf

How About Some Kielbasa Up The Poopshoot?

Soothing My Savage Beasts With The Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder