I Live Inside Myself...And I Dance With Myself Too, IF You Know What I Mean



There's this guy, like the diplomats here in our wonderful capital city, or the Natives in our country, who claims the law does not apply to him.

You see, he was recently accused of drunk driving somewhere in Pennsylvania, and while standing in court in his own defense, while wearing a Coors Light sweatshirt no less, he stated he is "a sovereign man", which he went on to explain meant "I live inside myself."
I've got to meet Scott Witmer. He's my kind of guy.


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Update on Dee and Ass:

Thanks to everyone who left comments yesterday regarding Dee's run-ins with Ass. Seems that their teacher had a little talk with both of them. As well, the vice-principal spoke to Ass and his mother. However, because this society is all about political-correctness and all things la-dee-dah, I am not privy to what was said, nor what the results may be. All I know is that the teacher was pretty darn gentle in his dealings with the boys. And I don't know a lot, but I'm pretty sure that gentle isn't quite the way to go in this instance.

I also wasn't too thrilled with the tone of the vice-principal's voice when I called her to find out what had been done. A tone that I thought resembled the tone one would use with someone who was asking questions that were none of her business. And, last time I checked, Dee was very much my business.

All I know is, Ass better not put his little hands on my Dee again. Because now it's time for Mrs. Wicked, Vile and Beastly to make an appearance.

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Yet another update, this one on my French language testing:

I flunked. Unless "flunked" means I failed miserably, in which case, I didn't. I got pretty good marks overall, but they want someone who has impeccable verbal abilities in the French language, and apparently swear words don't count.

Oh well, I can always file. Or pick up dog poop in people's yards. Or both!

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I cut Mr. Handsome's large head of hair yesterday. I could not say no any longer. He was no longer able to fit into his cubicle at work. I stand corrected. Mr. Handsome has corrected me, saying getting into the elevator was even more of a bitch.

Before cutting, however, I distinctly remember warning him that I was tired, and maybe we should wait until tomorrow. Nonono, Mr. Handsome said, waving his hands through the air pell mell, I cannot wait any longer because I can no longer fit in my cubicle. So, I took pity on him, as I often do, and cut his hair.

Today, we all noticed he has a discernible lump on one side of his head. Somehow, I missed a spot, about the size of a small potato. So, now, instead of just having a very large head, he looks like he has a second head growing out of a now smaller head. I think I would have stuck with the large head another day.

Comments

~*Jobthingy*~ said…
LOL! tell him to tell people he has conjoined twin myelitis a la South Park

as if they wont tell you what happened! i would be there DEMANDING to know. you are Dees legal guardian, you have every friggin right to know
Just A Chic... said…
Eh...two heads are better than one, right?
Bobby's Dream said…
I can see this in my mind...I am still giggling. Just call him Mr. Potato Head!

Sorry to hear about your French test. I think the swear words would come in quite handy dont you?

Dee IS your business. I hate it when the protection falls on the person who is causing the harm and not the actual victim. Stupid stupid stupid.
Quirkyloon said…
What was that movie that had the little guy living in a guy's stomach?

It had Arnie Scharzzie in it.

Dang I can't remember.

BUT when you described the extra head on your hubbie? It reminded me of that movie.

Which is soooo memorable that I can't remember the title!

Ha!
♥Trina♥ said…
As a teacher, I think you DEFINITELY should have been privy to the conference with Ass and
Ass-Mom. The conference, at some point, should have included ALL of you. That's my professional opinion, anyway.

I have a very good visual of Mr. Handsome's haircut and second-head growth. LOL My hubby has hair that gets big--really, really big--when he needs a haircut. I start calling him Granpa Munster because when he puts on a baseball cap, he gets "wings" that look like Granpa Munster's hair. LOL
Raven said…
Schools today are way to lenient when it comes to bullying. I even read somewhere that some people say bullying is a good thing cuz it teaches kids to be 'strong' and also teaches them 'conflict resolution.' WTF?!?!?!
3 Bay B Chicks said…
What? You didn't get the job? What kind of world do we live in where swear words don't count?

Whatev! You will always be Brigitte Bardot in my mind. :)

-Francesca
blueviolet said…
I swear the administration in schools is so afraid of being sued these days that they barely do their jobs. You practically have to sit on them to get anything done.
Jane! said…
I guess I will have to go hunt down the Dee/Ass story.
My hub always makes sure I'm not pissed at him before I cut his hair. His fear is based on past experience. 'Oops'
Cathy Winsby said…
Principal's name should be "Butt" since that's about all he's covering.

Love the two heads...lol.
Kristen Andrews said…
schools never seem to handle things right, my Mom has worked at a school for 25 yrs and she has crazy stories.
What a fantastic blog you have going here!!
I'm a huge fan of curse words in other languages.......most folks around these parts have no clue what I'm saying and I kind of like it that way :)
If you have a moment or two of your life that you'd care to waste, please drop into my blog and say hello.
Take good care and........

Steady On
Reggie Girl

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