Pay Me To Eat Your Doughnut -- It's A Win-Win Situation!
Hear ye! Hear ye! Mary still likes her job! She actually thinks it's a keeper! Even if it doesn't pay nearly as much as it's worth. Let's just say, if this were in the good old government, it would pay twice as much. But Mary is not a greedy guts, so she will keep her big mouth shut, smile as she walks into the office every morning, and just be glad she has a job she enjoys and that her ungrateful family now has enough money to buy extra tacos on Friday night.
Yep, it's been two whole weeks, folks (minus two days, one for Canada's Victoria Day, in which we celebrate a dead queen's birthday, and one for my day of ultimate misery), and I'm still liking it. I'm liking the job so much, guys, that I actually look forward to going in every day!
That, in itself, is a miracle in the making, because I haven't felt like that about a job in a very long time. I'm talking a decade here, folks.
Truth be told, I haven't done much of anything except watch and learn. Steep learning curve, guys. And this chick ain't no spring chicken any longer. But I'm here to prove to everyone that you can teach an old dog new tricks, just not as quickly. Notice all the analogies, guys. Are you following?
Marlene, my trainer, actually trusted me enough yesterday to allow me to speak to some field workers. And then, when I was done, and I hadn't made a fool of myself, she high-fived me, and I think she had a look of utter surprise on her face, and told me I was "awesome". She's 22, so she uses words like that a lot. And that made my day. I even shared my caramel cake bites with her.
The only thing that I can safely say makes me want to pull my hair out is the woman who sits beside Marlene. Her name's Anita, and she is a great woman. In her 50s, francophone, and full of life. So, what is the problem, you ask?
She talks LIKE THIS ON THE PHONE AND TO EVERYONE AROUND HER, and whether or not she is speaking to you, you have no choice but to listen to her, because her voice rings throughout the office, and the decibel range rivals the 747s that fly overhead every 10 minutes. And what's even worse is she knows she does this, and she continues to do it!
I'm thinking she either doesn't care that it's giving me a subdural hematoma, or that she forgets herself, or maybe that she thinks it's kind of cute. Either way, it's a slow and undignified death.
The only saving grace in all this is that she will soon be moving into an office that has a door on it that closes. Amen.
The other great thing that I discovered about this job is that it does not actually take me 35 minutes to get to work in the mornings, and 45 minutes to get home at night. This is all thanks to Mr. Handsome and his amazing driving skills. He had to drive me into work on Tuesday because I was not legally allowed to drive because of all the supposed sedation I had received on Monday for (insert sarcastic tone) my amazingly painless hospital procedures. Mr. Handsome thought it might be a good idea to take another route, because the route I take couldn't possibly be the best one. So, another route he took, and guess what, guys? It cut my travelling time in half! IN HALF!! Who knew? Thank you, Mr. Handsome. You're in my good books again. Well, he was anyway, really. But those things can change with the flick of an eyelash, so I'm just sayin'.
And the last thing I wanted to say about my new job is that I get all the free coffee and tea I want, and the occasional doughnut and cake. And that's all I've ever really wanted in a job.