Obviously, they haven't read my blog, or else they'd be running so fast the other way, all I'd see is the dust and their heels kicking up as they disappear beyond the horizon.
It's all still very surreal. It seems like it was almost too easy. One interview. That was it. A two-day wait for their decision.
And then, when I think about my husband's face when I got off the phone and told him, I get all mushy inside. This means so much for me and my family. I won't feel like such a leech any more. And, although Mr. Handsome has been so very patient through everything, I know he's been very worried about things (and not because he's super-anal about all things financial), and probably praying a bit, despite the fact that he's not a religious person.
You see, since Mr. Handsome started his doctorate studies, and since Dee was born and shortly after diagnosed with cancer, we have not both held down full-time jobs at the same time. And that in itself has taken its toll over the years. While he was studying, he worked part-time and brought some money in, and I started up my own daycare business, which did really well. Then, he started working full-time, and I started up my real estate business, which did well, but also had a lot of unexpected expenses attached to it. It also took its toll on me physically and emotionally. And then, when the economy took its nosedive last fall, I decided to take a break.
And then I had a bit of a nervous breakdown, where I writhed in mental anguish on the couch and repeatedly told myself what a loser I was, and that I could do nothing right, and didn't really know what I wanted anymore. That was fun, but I finally decided it was time to get off my ass and get with the program once again.
And here we are.
I was ready for a steady-paying job, where I would put in my hours, do my best, and actually get paid for it, unlike real estate, where you work really hard, give your clients your firstborn child, and then end up spending money instead of making it when these clients end up not buying or selling, for whatever reason. Or, they blame you for the state of the economy, yell at you really loudly, and then use another realtor. Yeah, it happens.
Oh, I also had many many great and wonderful clients, and many are now my friends, but those not-so-nice ones always stand out, don't they?
Anyway, I'm still a licensed realtor, and may even go back to it full-time at some point, but right now, I just needed something less angst-filled, and something a little more consistent in terms of a paycheque. I'm funny that way, but knowing we can pay the bills makes me feel a little better.
This job seems like a great fit for me. I don't know much about it at the moment, except that there is a lot of training involved, and job shadowing. In a nutshell, I'll be a liaison between the community health care people and the field staff who go to people's homes and take care of their various needs. I'll be helping the most vulnerable in this society feel like they're still important, and worthy of being cared for, and alive, not just existing. I'm helping them keep what little of their dignity they have left.
Ever since my father passed away (it's three-and-a-half years now), I have realized there is this whole other world out there that we don't see. Not that it's not there for us to see. It's more that we refuse to look and acknowledge it. Because this part of the world is not for the weak. It is filled with the weakest of our society, but I am telling you, these people are actually the strongest. These are the people who are struggling to survive, to do more than just exist, to make it through another day. These are the elderly and the ill.
My father was one of them, and through the last 10 months of his life, he wanted nothing more than to go back home so that he could sit in his favourite rocking chair and just be. There are dwindling numbers of the original homeowners in my neighbourhood going through this exact scenario now, and I know the despair they are feeling as the thin thread that is what is left of their independence is slowly getting weaker. They know what is coming, and they are fighting with everything they've got, which, in some instances, is not a lot.
For a long time now, I've wanted to do something that makes a difference. And yes, I was doing that with both my daycare and with my real estate business, but my focus was changing. My dad made it very obvious to me that these vulnerable people need a voice. And that's what I'm going to try to be, in my small but meaningful way. It's a start.