Dog of Little Brain

We came home the other day to this:

That's right. A ripped, once-very-comfortable pillow on which I would often lay my weary head. Mr. Handsome's mother bought us these pillows for Christmas, to go with our leather couches, for which we are still paying through the nose. She does not yet know that her nice pillows that she spent lots of money for and took many hours to choose now look like this.

I blame the kids for this mishap, although Gryphon actually gnawed on them with his large maw all by himself. But the children, however lovely they often are, sometimes pound him with the pillows, as sort of a playfight ritual of sorts, and that's why I blame them.

So, the other day, we were out, doing something relatively familyish of one type or another (read this to mean, we were forced to be together and we were not enjoying it one little bit), and when we came home, Gryphon came romping up to us, as he always does, smiling and wagging his nub of a tail. I think he even barked softly, welcoming us back in his usual jovial manner.

Mr. Handsome and I then walked into the living room to see who could claim the couch for ourselves first, and suddenly, Gryphon's demeanour changed. His ears went back, he began pacing back and forth behind me, his protector, and he started to shake uncontrollably, which made me feel sorry for him, but only until I reminded myself of how naughty he can be on a regular basis.

"Uh oh, what's he done now?" I asked, looking for something obvious and finding nothing except the usual mess on the carpeted floor, which, again, I blame on the children.

Mr. Handsome soon found it. He picked up the pillow and looked at the corner. Yup, it was torn, and wet with dog saliva. Gryphon started slinking away toward his crate, his little haven away from all that is nasty in his little world. He knew he was in big poo poo.

He obviously remembered what happened a few days earlier when he ripped this pillow's sister, sending fluffy white clouds of filling throughout the living room, which greeted us when we returned from another fun day as a family.

What actually goes through these animals' little brains when they're doing these things? That's what I wonder when I see the damage that's done, and then look at my dog, standing there beside me, smiling. He obviously knows it's "baaad" to rip apart pillows, he knows he's going to be in deep doo doo, because it's happened often enough, and yet, he continues to do it.

He also recently often goes after this:

or this:

as you can tell from their placement on the floor this morning. He goes searching for contraband in the toybox we have hidden behind the loveseat. He rummages around back there like a little child. All you can see is the end of his tail vibrating with excitement over the top of the loveseat as he searches for the perfect toy that is not his, so that he can then come out and make a big deal of it in front of whomever happens to be in the room. He prances around with it in his mouth, then does a Downward Dog as he waits for someone to react. When no one does, he makes more noise with his front paws, bashing around on the floor and waving his head around, until we either chase him, scream at him, or are successful at grabbing said contraband from his sharp teeth.

As you can see, Mr. Bunny has had just about enough of this. He's too old for such shenanigans from a badly behaved, too-smart-for-his-own-good poodle who thinks he's a human bean.
Give Mr. Bunny a break, would you, Gryphon? Go read a book, or do a puzzle for a change.


naughty Gryphon he needs to do a "time-out" hehe Sorry about the pillows...that sux!!
♥Trina♥ said…
hahaha Bad Gryphon! Ali is the QUEEN of ripping stuffed toys apart. Fortunately, after she got over her love of Yellow Box flip flops, she hasn't destroyed anything except toys. If we can find one that will last 3 months with her, we've been successful. LOL
mo.stoneskin said…
Now that's funny.

I've always wondered what goes through their little brains.

I mean, is there a sense of guilt ever, or is it purely instinctive reactions?

I reckon animals know true guilt and shame when they wreck, say, a cushion, but they choose to ignore it.

Oh, and the problem with leather couches is that we always are "still paying" for them.
Our latest rescue, the Cocker Spaniel named Joe Cocker only chews on his far! But since we have only had him a little over a week and have already had him neutered, I expect that he might start acting out any time!
Delilah, the perfect pup stray, LOVES to chew my stilettos! I can't leave a pair of heels out at all! And if my closet door is not closed all the way, and hermetically SEALED, with cement blocks stacked against it, this little 9 pound terror will come in the den with a 4 inch Jimmy Choo wannabe in her tiny fangs!
She never bothers anyone else's shoes~
Have a FANTASTIC Friday~
Soxy Deb said…
Gryphon's a bit of an attention seeker. I recognize those same symptoms in myself. Especially the wagging of the little nub of a tail.
Lauren said…
I'll trade you your one itty bitty messed up pilled for my brand new comforter ripped to shreds from Leo or my gazillion items smashed to the floor from Sadie as she tear asses around the apt and knocks them down, CRASH!
Deb said…
okay, i am trying amy bo bamey's new next button. i am so confused.

listen, times your damage by two and that's what goes on here. i just threaten my pups that i will send them to "go live on a farm" and they straighten right up.
darsden said…
Hilarious and I can relate! I went on vacation for a week one time had a free stay at my house to care for my 2 dogs. I came home all 3 of my sofa cushions were eaten and "her best damn leather shoes" and "don't ever ask me again"...damn don't worry I won't.
Martha H. said…
Your dog amuses me.
Quirkyloon said…
Haha. I'm thinking your Mom-in-law knows now?

heh heh
Mariah said…
Naughty Dog, but really, he can't help himself
Nice looking canine
Em said…
Oh poor Gryphon, I understand how he feels - like every guilty pleasure, it feels so good while you're doing it, but then you must pay the price.

Where did I hide that Hershey bar, anyway?

(adore the Downward dog imagery - excellent prose per usual!)
At least it wasn't an ink pen. Or nylons.
Life can be worse!
Dingo said…
Gryphon is hilarious! I can say that because he's not chewing up my stuff.
I think Mr. Bunny looks like he eggs your dog on when no one's looking. It's always the cute little bunnies...always!!

(Very funny post.)
Debbie said…
And that is why I don't have a dog!
pam said…
Poor bunny. Gryphon is a cutie though!!
Michel said…
he's simply doing you a public service - implying that your kids should pick up the toys.

or, he's an illdisciplined dog.

could go either way.

My babies were the WORST. It, did, however, teach me to put away my shit!!
Hee! I love that your dog does a Downward Dog!
Elisa said…
Poor Mr. Bunny! But I have to say, Gryphon sounds adorable ;-)

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