Freedom!

What do you do with yourself for a whole weekend when your kids are away? Anyone? Anyone?

I face this dilemma a few times a year, and I know that really, I should be ecstatic, and I guess I am. My children attend various camps at Camp Trillium, which is a camp for kids with cancer and their siblings. We are very fortunate to have the opportunity, really. It's entirely free for the kids to go, and they love it. Absolutely adore it. They have the time of their lives.

The only prerequisite is having a child with cancer, which is a bit of a downer, you could say. I jest. It's awful, the worst nightmare anyone could live through. Of course it is. There is no way you can even imagine how terrible it is. I can explain it like this: Imagine the worst possible thing that could happen to you, and multiply it by a million. Imagine a hole so dark and deep that climbing out of it is practically impossible. That gives you some idea.

We are one of the very fortunate since our son has survived his cancer and has done relatively well. He has ongoing issues, but really, in the grand scheme of things, they're nothing compared to what could have been. I'll take blood pressure issues and kidney concerns, etc. any day, thank you very much.

So, the kids have gone to Camp Trillium's winter camp, which they offer every winter for a weekend. And my kids look forward to it every year. It's a weekend of not having chores, no parent nagging at them continually, a weekend of pure joy. Their days are filled with sports, play, crafts, smiles and laughs.

The problem is, what do I do with myself? This has been an ongoing dilemma since my kids started going to camp. I feel empty, alone, decrepit without their little faces near me, whining and screaming, their claws around my wrinkled neck. As well, it looks like Mr. Handsome will be working most of the weekend. What's an aging, perimenopausal woman to do with herself?

I could, I suppose, catch up with work. I could catch up with the laundry, maybe clean our bedroom, take Gryphon for a nice run in the woods, clean the kitchen, figure out why the dishwasher is leaking through the floor and onto the dryer in the basement, look for a new dishwasher, take down the Christmas tree (yes, that's right...you can close your mouth now). The list just goes on and on.

What I think I'll do instead is put on a movie or two or 10, close the blinds, and watch them, taking catnaps whenever the urge strikes. Then I think I'll force Mr. Handsome to go out to dinner, whether he wants to or not. Maybe even a movie. He needs a break, after all. He's been working waaay too hard. I might even have time to read one of the 152 books that are sitting on my shelves, waiting to be read and collecting dust. Or maybe I'll finally begin to figure out Photoshop! Wouldn't that be a hoot?

I may even get up the courage to go to the gym with Pick, my BFF. Only problem is, I'd have to find my runners first, which would mean cleaning my bedroom...