Enough Groceries For The Duggars

Recently, I was whining. What? Yes, I know. It's a rare occurrence, to be sure.

I had good reason to whine, however, as opposed to the times when I just whine because I know everyone loves to hear my sweet voice ring through the halls. Tra la la la!

Anyway, I was whining, as I said. About what? About the fact that I'm responsible for getting the groceries this month (Mr. Handsome & I take turns getting groceries so that neither one of us cracks under the pressure), and there never seems to be any food in the house. Ever. No matter how often I go to the grocery store and spend all our pennies on all the goodness nature can bring. Things like super-sized bags of potato chips and cocktail wienies and marinated artichoke hearts. Nummies.

So, I go to the store at least once, sometimes twice, a week, filling up our fridge and pantry as any good mother should. After all, god forbid my offspring or -- horrors! -- Mr. Handsome be without for more than maybe three seconds tops. Yes, that's the kind of mother I am.

I started getting all huffy, though, when I noticed that, no matter how much food I buy and how much money I spend, and how much love and thought I put into my food forays (and I put a lot of love and thought into my purchases of cocktail wienies, thank you very much), the food that should last a good week lasts maybe 1.6 days max.

What gives?

I just want to know.

Is my family actually a group of Duggars hiding in the laundry room, waiting quietly until I go to bed before coming out and foraging? I just want to know. What is going on?? I swear I just bought enough sandwich meat, cheese, milk, and snack-type goodies to last us a good seven days, if not eight.

The Duggars

And while I'm on the topic of the Duggars, I want to know if they really are all that cheery and pleasant 24/7? And how come they all have socks that match?! Figure that one out, people. What I do know about the Duggars is that they spend over $3,000 on groceries a month. For 20 people. It may be 21 by now. Michelle may have popped out another one while I was writing this. And somehow they make it work. Or so they say.

I almost feel like they're kind of like a cult. You know, always smiling, happy-go-lucky, hard workers, gentle, god-fearing. Nothing ever seems to jangle their nerves, or make them angry or upset. It's a little scary, I find. What is really going behind those doors? you have to ask yourself. And another thing, they fully believe in not kissing before marriage! Yes, that's correct! NO KISSING. Hand holding's okay, but do not touch lips. I'm not even talking tongue here, people.

Sorry, I got carried away again. But seriously, think about it. How many of us can actually say we did that, let alone wanted to do that?! What's the use of hooking up with someone if you can't give each other some sucky face?

So, about the groceries. I finally posed this question to Mr. Handsome, because I have an inquiring mind, and we all know that when there's a question that needs answering, Mr. Handsome is the "go to" person. You're welcome, dear.

And Mr. Handsome actually surprised me and gave me the answer, which is so out of the ordinary. Normally, I'll maybe get a silent acknowledgement that he actually even heard me. He actually told me how he does it on the months he's responsible for our food supply.

The trick is to buy things no one likes. No one eats much of any of it, so it lasts. And it's still giving them the choice. They hate all of it, but at least they have a choice. That way, you're still doing your job as "the good parent", and saving dollars at the same time! Kill two birds with one stone.

Now, why didn't I think of that? I can't wait for March!