Nasty Things I Do To My Kids

  • Stealing their Halloween chocolate

  • Screwing with their minds by telling them something and then switching it up so that they have no idea what I'm talking about (it's fun, you should try it)

  • Making them clean the house and do the dishes

  • Locking myself in the bedroom when I can't handle listening to them fight any longer, and letting them duke it out between themselves (they haven't killed each other yet)

  • Singing along with popular songs and pretending I'm really cool

  • Dancing really strangely and embarrassing them in front of their friends

  • Holding them close to me and farting silently

  • Making my son wear underwear

  • Making my daughter brush her teeth

  • Making my son brush his teeth

  • Making my son brush his teeth again because he lied about brushing his teeth the first time

  • Speaking a pretend language when they ask me a question, and faithfully ignore their pleas to speak English

  • Taking pictures of my daughter when she gets a curling iron stuck in her hair

Oh, I could go on and on and on, but I won't. I'll save it for another slow day.


Milly said…
Urgh. Mommy that's not nice.

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