Monday, March 22, 2010

Mr. Handsome And I Don't See Eye To Eye, Or Maybe We Do, But I Wouldn't Know Because I Rarely Know What He's Talking About

So, Mr. Handsome laughs at my blog. And I don't mean in a good way. As in, how you, my faithful readers, laugh at my blog.

Nay. I mean, the odd time he finds it somewhat amusing, but more often than not, his remark is almost -- shall we say -- condescending. And again, I don't mean that in a good way, if there is a good way with being condescending.

In simpler terms:

condescending = not good

For instance, in case you are doubting my statement above, saying, "Nay nay, sweet Mary, your husband would NEVER be condescending toward you and your blog," let me tell you this: he rolled his eyes at my last post, and said, "You're really scraping the bottom of the barrel now, aren't you?" But he really wasn't asking me a question. It was more of an absolute statement, like he was the ultimate god of funniness judgment or something equally as important and strangely unique.

Well, he may think he is, but he's not.

I mean, I probably don't even have to really talk about that at all. I could just tell you that he didn't even realize I had the garbage put on the other side of the driveway to irk the neighbours and test them UNTIL HE READ MY BLOG POST ABOUT IT. What does THAT tell you about his awareness and alertness? The man actually backed right by the garbage that morning on his way to work.

In fact, now that I think of it, perhaps his reaction to my blog post was, in reality, more of an immediate negative reaction to the fact that he suddenly realized he hadn't notice the garbage that morning, and felt really incompetent, or maybe he got very scared because he realized he had been sleep-driving again, or maybe only driving with his eyes closed (which he totally does).

He also didn't even realize the little tabby things on hot beverage lids that you get at McDonald's are made so that they stick to the top of the lid, creating an automatic hole from which to drink said hot beverage. I had to tell him. And when I did, his face blossomed like he had just seen God and the heavens above, or maybe just a really hot woman with big breasties (and that woman would not be me, obviously, because (a) I'm rarely hot and (b) I do not, never did, and never will have, big breasts).

All this to say, how am I supposed to even care what he says about my blog when he doesn't seem to even be conscious most of the time? But perhaps the better question is, WHY DO I care? Because I do, that's why.

Remember when he said he refused to read my blog any longer because he deemed it inappropriate? Well, that surely didn't last long, did it? Not even a week. Yeah, he said he started reading it again because he had hurt my feelings when he told me he wouldn't read it any longer, but that's a bald-faced lie if ever there was one. The truth is, he couldn't stand to be away from it any longer. Totally obvious.

Well, when he stopped reading my blog, I think I didn't mind as much as when he was all cynical about it the other day. So, because of this unforeseen and strange reaction of mine, I began to analyze things because that's what I do to try and understand the rather strange and awful world around me. And especially when it comes to trying to figure out my husband. He's a mystery at the best of times. Which is one of the reasons I married him, but we won't touch that topic at the moment.

"So," I say to myself, "poodle, why do you care if he thinks your blog is inane and full of crap? He's obviously wrong, because you have all sorts of people who compliment you on your blog, and tell you you should write a book, or a newspaper column, and he didn't even know not to wear white socks with dress shoes until he met you and you laughed at him."

And the answer I came up with is, I don't know. I just care. I guess it would be kind of cool if my husband actually thought that what I write is, if not awesome, than good enough. And maybe he does think it's good enough. Maybe not.

Hold on while I ask him. Go get a drink while you're waiting. Oh, and you've got some toilet paper hanging out of your pants. You're welcome.

Ahem.
I finally got his attention (he was very focused on taking raw skinless and boneless chicken breasts from their package and re-wrapping them in Saran wrap and foil, so I had to almost yell at him), and asked him. I said, "Is my blog any good?"

And Mr. Handsome said, "What?"

Me: Is my blog any good?
Him: What are you talking about?
Me: My blog. 
Him: Uh huh?
Me:  Well?
Him: What??
Me: Do you like my blog? Is it any good?
Him: Yessss, it is. Most of the time.
Me: Am I a good writer?
Him: Yesssss, Haven't we been over this before?
Me: What's your point?
Him: We've talked about this before. You've asked me this before. Yes, you're a good writer. Sometimes, you're a very good writer. You just sometimes write about inane topics.
Me: Oh.
*Pause*
Me: So, why don't you like my blog?

By this point, Mr. Handsome is probably ready to throttle me. But instead, he sighs heavily and ignores me for the remainder of the hour.

So, I guess this means he likes my blog. Right?

P.S. The whole garbage thing was moot, guys. Moot. I didn't see hide nor hair of Her. No one even came near our bags of garbage. And then, I found out that it wasn't even green bin week, so Dee had to drag the damn thing all the way back in. The stars mustn't be aligned. I haven't given up yet.

14 comments:

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

Mary, Mr. Handsome dosen't appreciate a good blog. Could he do better himself?
We write blogs to put our thoughts and experiences down and it also relieves some of the tension that we may have.
Carry on writing Mary here is one who enjoys reading your blogs.

Yvonne.

Wander to the Wayside said...

Hahahahahahaha! Too funny!

My husband has NEVER even read my blog (which I'm kind of glad about). He knows about it, and says things like "all I know is that you spend too damn much time sitting there tapping away", or says "blawg" like throwing up. I think he thinks it's a woman thing to waste time. And I only post once every week or so, so he hasn't a clue what I'm really doing when I sit here (which is wasting time reading OTHER blogs, like yours!)

ReformingGeek said...

Hubby is jealous of your talents?

Good luck with the trash fiasco.

Grace said...

My husband doesn't read my blog, nor do I encourage him to. Sometimes I read parts of it to him, when I think I have been particularly funny...but...I really don't think we have to know everything about each other or share everything either. Which is what happens when you get married when you are very much older...

Aunt Juicebox said...

I think she might have left the trash alone this time because it was more than just one random bag on the other side. She probably didn't want to move ALL your trash. So keep putting it over there. I'm sure it's annoying her.

GregoryJ said...

I'm glad you got it settled with Mr. Handsome. Now you can concentrate on Her. We know she's gonna do sumthing, don we?

8 Women Dream said...

Seth Godin states that blogging will change your life, so blog on girl, despite any opinions.

MarieA said...

So here's the thing Mary. It's all in the point of view. You write a SHE blog as opposed to a HE blog. A SHE blog is almost equated to chick lit which a red blooded Canadian male or any male for that matter - doesn't get. It's the point of view. The SHEs get it. The HEs - not so much. So, he mostly says he likes it, because why endure punishment or another sort by saying no. But, he isn't sure WHY ... the rest of us SHE's of course fully get it and LOVE it. Now if he did read blogs, which ones does he read?

Revel in your blogginess and let him shake his head and wonder what the deal is with the SHE Blogs.

WarsawMommy said...

Hiya,

Just wanted you to know: I won an award, and got to pass it on to some other blogs - and I chose yours ;) Go on over to my blog and pick up your award, OK??

Make sure to rub it in Mr. Handsome's face: "Someone loves my blog and gave me an award... nyah nyah!".

Or not....

ModernMom said...

I would ban him! No more blog for him!!

Joanna said...

I just found your blog via Warsaw Mommy whose blog, in turn, I clicked on via Finslippy. And, after reading for about 20 minutes, I find myself agreeing with your husband, the everso cutely nicknamed Mr. Handsome. You are not very funny, and frankly you seem like a somewhat unpleasant person who is finghting a lot of petty wars. But you seem to enjoy blogging and have some readers who like your writing, so to each his own, I guess.

Finslippy is a good blog. Check it out sometime to find out what "funny" is like.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Hey Joanna from the Czech Republic, good to see you again! Good of you to visit to spew a bit more of your venom my way. Feel free!

If you haven't realized it (and obviously you have not, because of your asinine comment), I have a dry humour, and am often sarcastic. Look up the definitions if you don't know what they mean.

Also, I hope you find some friends soon so that you don't feel the need to have to leave such stabby comments.

Have a great day!

Oh, and by the way, you were only on my blog for a little over 17 minutes. Thought I'd clear that up for you.

Frogs in my formula said...

It sounds like he likes your blog but is playing hard to get. Clearly he wants you to jump his bones.

Frogs in my formula said...

P.S. My husband reads my blog and is constantly like "You only got x comments" or "Wow! x comments!" I feel like he's my blog manager.


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