This Is For You, Joanna From The Czech Republic! Thank You For Your Patronage
Today's post is in honour of a very special person. As you can tell, it's obviously a very special person because here I am posting on a Thursday, which I don't normally do. Sorry for screwing up your routines, guys. But this is important.
Her name is Joanna. Joanna's from the Czech Republic. My site stats told me so. Everyone, say hello to Joanna!
Joanna gets the prize as my first hater! Prize details to follow at the end of this post. I'm still in the midst of putting it together.
This is what Joanna told me the other day in the comments section of one of my posts:
I just found your blog via Warsaw Mommy whose blog, in turn, I clicked on via Finslippy. And, after reading for about 20 minutes, I find myself agreeing with your husband, the everso cutely nicknamed Mr. Handsome. You are not very funny, and frankly you seem like a somewhat unpleasant person who is finghting a lot of petty wars. But you seem to enjoy blogging and have some readers who like your writing, so to each his own, I guess.Finslippy is a good blog. Check it out sometime to find out what "funny" is like.
Seems to me Joanna has a few issues, no?
Let's see...First of all, Joanna, I wanted to thank you for visiting my blog, and all the way from the Czech Republic! Awesome.
I just wanted to clarify a point you make early on. Please don't take offense when I say this, but you actually weren't on my blog for 20 minutes. It was more like 17 minutes 56 seconds. Which is actually still an awful lot, seeing as most people kind of read a page or two and then move on. But you? You went to seven different pages, I think, and really did due diligence before making assumptions about me. Good for you! I;d just like to point out that you either (a) were purposely taking your time in reading my posts to pick out as many faults as you could, or (b) you are an extremely slow reader to have taken almost 18 minutes to read a whole seven pages. Either way, you're diligent. Always a good thing.
Another thing I'd like to clarify, which I'm not exactly sure how you happened to misunderstand in the first place, but Mr. Handsome actually does like my blog. A lot. And he thinks I'm pretty funny, as do many other people. I even know a few people from the Czech Republic who think my blog rocks. You may know them. But probably not, because you probably have a pretty difficult time meeting people, with your head up your butt like that. You might want to try being a little less judgmental. It might do wonders for your social life!
Oh, and by the way, what is "finghting"? I tried looking it up on various sites, but to no avail. I finally Googled it, and this is what I found:
You'll have to click on the image to enlarge it. Sorry about that. Very inconsiderate of me, I know.
I know I come across as -- what did you say? -- petty and unpleasant. Why yes, yes I am. Thank you for seeing past my rather crude facade of purity and gentle innocence. Not many people manage to dig so deftly and find the "real me". If you ask any of my friends, family or colleagues about me, they would all agree with you, I am sure. Because you obviously know me extremely well. You are amazing, and probably even psychic. Have you ever thought of opening up your own psychic crystal ball gazing palmistry business in the Czech Republic? It might keep you busy enough that you wouldn't have to spend your time perusing such boring and unfunny blogs such as mine. Just a thought...
So, Joanna, have you heard of sarcasm? It's defined in most dictionaries as "harsh or bitter derision or irony". It's a form of humour. There are many types of humour, Joanna. I have a suggestion for you. Maybe you could spend this weekend doing a bit of research on humour, and putting together a compilation of your findings. I'll even publish them because I'm that giving. I could even mark it for you if you'd like, or perhaps have my loyal readers give you marks, and then you might get yet another prize! Wouldn't that be swell, Joanna?
By the way, I love Alice Bradley's Finslippy. I read it all the time. And yes, it is funny. I'll agree with you there. She's been around for a while, and she's great.
But I still like my blog, and I intend to keep writing it the way I want it written. And I know people who read it and actually like it. Maybe not all the time, because that would just be ridiculous. I mean, I even dislike me at times (more often than you'd think, Joanna). And yes, my dear husband Mr. Handsome also dislikes me at times. He also dislikes my blog at times.
What everyone who comes here (well, everyone except you, that is) realizes is that you should not take me seriously when reading my crap. Because, really? Most of it is garbage. I'll be the first to admit it. Methinks you might be taking things a tad too seriously. Or perhaps you should have a swish or two of vodka before sitting down to blog read. Just a suggestion, not a judgment.
I'm glad you came to visit me, Joanna! Maybe we can get together for tea? I might be going to Switzerland in the next while, and I'm thinking maybe you could swing on down from your hometown and meet me somewhere in the middle, maybe in Lichtenschtein? I promise not to be too unpleasant and petty.
Smooches and hugs, your new BFF,
P.S. This prize was made specially for you, Joanna. Please don't take this lightly. Although I realize you might because I am quite sarcastic at the best of times, but in this case, I am not. I really mean it this time. You're very welcome.