This Is For You, Joanna From The Czech Republic! Thank You For Your Patronage

Today's post is in honour of a very special person. As you can tell, it's obviously a very special person because here I am posting on a Thursday, which I don't normally do. Sorry for screwing up your routines, guys. But this is important.

Her name is Joanna. Joanna's from the Czech Republic. My site stats told me so. Everyone, say hello to Joanna!

Joanna gets the prize as my first hater! Prize details to follow at the end of this post. I'm still in the midst of putting it together.

This is what Joanna told me the other day in the comments section of one of my posts:

I just found your blog via Warsaw Mommy whose blog, in turn, I clicked on via Finslippy. And, after reading for about 20 minutes, I find myself agreeing with your husband, the everso cutely nicknamed Mr. Handsome. You are not very funny, and frankly you seem like a somewhat unpleasant person who is finghting a lot of petty wars. But you seem to enjoy blogging and have some readers who like your writing, so to each his own, I guess.
Finslippy is a good blog. Check it out sometime to find out what "funny" is like.

Seems to me Joanna has a few issues, no?

Let's see...First of all, Joanna, I wanted to thank you for visiting my blog, and all the way from the Czech Republic! Awesome.

I just wanted to clarify a point you make early on. Please don't take offense when I say this, but you actually weren't on my blog for 20 minutes. It was  more like 17 minutes 56 seconds. Which is actually still an awful lot, seeing as most people kind of read a page or two and then move on. But you? You went to seven different pages, I think, and really did due diligence before making assumptions about me. Good for you! I;d just like to point out that you either (a) were purposely taking your time in reading my posts to pick out as many faults as you could, or (b) you are an extremely slow reader to have taken almost 18 minutes to read a whole seven pages. Either way, you're diligent. Always a good thing.

Another thing I'd like to clarify, which I'm not exactly sure how you happened to misunderstand in the first place, but Mr. Handsome actually does like my blog. A lot. And he thinks I'm pretty funny, as do many other people. I even know a few people from the Czech Republic who think my blog rocks. You may know them. But probably not, because you probably have a pretty difficult time meeting people, with your head up your butt like that. You might want to try being a little less judgmental. It might do wonders for your social life!

Oh, and by the way, what is "finghting"? I tried looking it up on various sites, but to no avail. I finally Googled it, and this is what I found:


You'll have to click on the image to enlarge it. Sorry about that. Very inconsiderate of me, I know.

I know I come across as -- what did you say? -- petty and unpleasant. Why yes, yes I am. Thank you for seeing past my rather crude facade of purity and gentle innocence. Not many people manage to dig so deftly and find the "real me". If you ask any of my friends, family or colleagues about me, they would all agree with you, I am sure. Because you obviously know me extremely well. You are amazing, and probably even psychic. Have you ever thought of opening up your own psychic crystal ball gazing palmistry business in the Czech Republic? It might keep you busy enough that you wouldn't have to spend your time perusing such boring and unfunny blogs such as mine. Just a thought...

So, Joanna, have you heard of sarcasm? It's defined in most dictionaries as "harsh or bitter derision or irony". It's a form of humour. There are many types of humour, Joanna. I have a suggestion for you. Maybe you could spend this weekend doing a bit of research on humour, and putting together a compilation of your findings. I'll even publish them because I'm that giving. I could even mark it for you if you'd like, or perhaps have my loyal readers give you marks, and then you might get yet another prize! Wouldn't that be swell, Joanna?

By the way, I love Alice Bradley's Finslippy. I read it all the time. And yes, it is funny. I'll agree with you there. She's been around for a while, and she's great.

But I still like my blog, and I intend to keep writing it the way I want it written. And I know people who read it and actually like it. Maybe not all the time, because that would just be ridiculous. I mean, I even dislike me at times (more often than you'd think, Joanna). And yes, my dear husband Mr. Handsome also dislikes me at times. He also dislikes my blog at times.

What everyone who comes here (well, everyone except you, that is) realizes is that you should not take me seriously when reading my crap. Because, really? Most of it is garbage. I'll be the first to admit it. Methinks you might be taking things a tad too seriously. Or perhaps you should have a swish or two of vodka before sitting down to blog read. Just a suggestion, not a judgment.

I'm glad you came to visit me, Joanna! Maybe we can get together for tea? I might be going to Switzerland in the next while, and I'm thinking maybe you could swing on down from your hometown and meet me somewhere in the middle, maybe in Lichtenschtein? I promise not to be too unpleasant and petty.

Smooches and hugs, your new BFF,

Mary

P.S. This prize was made specially for you, Joanna. Please don't take this lightly. Although I realize you might because I am quite sarcastic at the best of times, but in this case, I am not. I really mean it this time. You're very welcome.



Comments

Shieldmaiden96 said…
See, I SHOOT for petty and unpleasant, but only manage simmering resentment. I need to ramp it up a notch. Maybe you have some tips you can share.

To be fair, if I woke up in the CR every day I'd probably be a crabby hater too. Though I hear its more pleasant now that they don't have to stand in line for toilet paper.

Sorry. I've been up for a number of hours and I don't have my sunshiny love thy neighbor hat on yet.
I think you handled this situation wonderfully. I wouldn't be so kind as you were......and as for a prize,? I did guess what was behind the picture.
We are all individuals and write articles or in my case "Attempted Poety" in our own way, so you have a right to say and write what you like on your own blog.
If people don't like it , well that's not your fault but theirs.
Carry on blogging Mary I enjoy reading what you have to say.
Good luck.
Yvonne.
Ms. Cairo said…
Wow! You've got some insecurity complex going there. You're in your early twenties, aren't you?

To go on and on because someone leaves a comment not liking your blog? Why not just delete the comment, instead of wasting precious time out of your day responding to someone who will never visit your blog again?

In which camp you can count myself.
Hey Ms. Cairo!! You win a prize for 2nd hater comment!

This is getting fun!!
So I'm waiting for Joanna to respond...

...I want to see a real catfight. ;)
I might not be seeing something that others are seeing? Please let me know...

Suddenly, people are coming here from god knows where, and do not seem to understand that what I write is total crap, and sarcasm. Why are these people taking me seriously??? Anyone?
I don't know. It could be your photo. You look pretty serious there, you know? ;)
Grace said…
It's kinda why sometimes moderating comments is such a good thing then these folks never get to see light of day. Of course, then again, you don't get some free blog material.

and sometimes it's a case of stuff not translating well...

Who cares, really? Let it go, unless of course you can get another funny post out of it.
I'm one of those people who is the last to see the humor in something, and yet I knew the minute I came here that you were all about taking everyday things and doing a sarcastic rap on it, and I saw the humor in it, and I love it!

I've never understood why someone would feel the need to leave a nasty comment (though it's expected and seen ad nauseum on the more public blog comments like about a news article). If they don't like it, go away and don't come back, duh!

I did a rather lengthy post this week that someone could read or not, depending on their time constraints and attention span, and yet 'someone' felt the need to say "This will never do, it's way too long". Seriously?

And someone else once said, after I got an award, something like 'most people who are good writer's don't need to get or display their awards to be validated'.

Well, I think you did a good comeback on this comment, both to the point and funny. You go, girl! And how funny is it that Ms. Cairo thinks you might be in your 20s!!
WarsawMommy said…
Oh, dear... I may have pointed these people over to you. Maybe I waved a red flag, as it were, when I gave you that award on my website.

Ooops. Sorry. On the other hand: you have haters! Some bloggers say that you are NOBODY in the Blogosphere until people hate you.

Ummm. So - you've made it? First Gowan, now haters?
franzi said…
you rock, you even have a hater. i don't have any readers (ok, maybe a couple and they aren't even related to me!) let alone a hater ;-)

but there recently was a dude who told me i'm not special...WHAT????

franzi
franzi said…
you rock, you even have a hater. i don't have any readers (ok, maybe a couple and they aren't even related to me!) let alone a hater ;-)

but there recently was a dude who told me i'm not special...WHAT????

franzi
Claire said…
I'm new to your blog...'cause you visit mine! I have been on for about 10 seconds...I think you're hilarious.. Gonna read some more.
Claire said…
AND you're CANADIAN! How friggin' perfect is that! That explains the exquisite humour. Gonna write you up on my blog. People need more Canadian humour.
MsDarkstar said…
It must be really nice to have nothing better to do than be a hater on someone's blog.

I, for one, LOVE that you gave an entire post response that had me laughing in several places.

Let me go on record as saying that I would love your curmudgeonliness as we shared froufy coffee drinks and talked about the neighbors and the trash and the merits of Switzerland (I've never been but my Mom has...)

I say a hearty "meh" to your haters. If they don't "get" you, too bad for them.
Elizabeth said…
I'm new to your blog and, well, already love it. I'm actually hoping to get me one of those blog-haters, too, one day because I'd love to give out that kitten award. I look forward to reading more posts!
ReformingGeek said…
You go GIRL!

Thank you for the award.

Ha! Just kidding.

What a loser she is to leave a derogatory comment.

I wonder if she knows what that means.
Maggie May said…
aw fuck her.

brush that dirt off your shoulder.

xoxox
Miz Dinah said…
Maybe funny doesn't translate well into Slovak? I think you're funny. Why did she even take the time to write to you? If ya don't like it, move on!
I agree with Maggie May. And I think you are plenty funny.
*rolls up sleeves* Okay. I'm ready to stand up and defend my Canadian bloggy friend.
I might not be around often, but I'm here now!

TWO haters? Wow. I had one a while back telling me I didn't love my kids because I am happy to send my son to school come Monday mornings. But I haven't had the luxury of someone blasting me.

*Rolls up sleeves a little higher*

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