We decided to have a nice family night on the weekend, and ended up watching Deliverance.
What? We played Hearts afterwards, so it's all good.
Mr. Handsome (who is apparently reading my blog again -- read it and weep, buddy) said the movie was entirely inappropriate, and he walked around all serious-like and feigned authoritative license, and then said dinner was ready and we were to shut off the television.
I let him know, in no uncertain terms, that the stuff he has allowed the kids to watch (including all those video games that do nothing but glorify violence, blood and gore) is so much worse than anything on Deliverance. Oh, and we won't even go into watching Die Hard on Christmas Eve, and stating that it's a perfectly fine movie to watch on Christmas Eve because -- hello! -- it takes place at Christmas time. Or, how about WWF Smack Down wrestling matches? Or those caged wrestling matches you and Dee seem to adore? Yeah, let's talk about that for a moment, shall we, Mr. Handsome? Yeah, didn't think so.
But no, Mr. Handsome could not accept my logic as enough reason to leave good enough alone. Oh no, guys, he had to go so far as to ban the children from watching what is one of my favourite movies ever. Because, really, think about it. Who thinks wild hillbillies are going to come out of the woodwork in the middle of the forest and shout, "Soooey!! Sooooooeeey!", which actually, now that I think of it, could be kind of fun. This film is pure awesomeness just because of its total unexpected creepiness. And, because Burt Reynolds looks really hot. He pretty much went downhill from there, which was 1972, so he's been going downhill for a loooooong time.
I even told Mr. Handsome that the part that he was most worried about (you know, the "soooeeey!" part where Ned Beatty gets done up the cadbury's) isn't even shown in the movie because it's censored (duh!!), but that didn't deter Mr. Handsome. Oh no. He just had to see for himself, he did. So, he proceeded to go through the film and fast-forward through the bit where Ned is rolling around in the leaves and mud with the hillbilly running around him, and they're both screaming like tiny piglets (which, actually, I think is kind of cute).
So, that part he would not allow the children to see (it actually was completely edited out of the tv version anyway). But the part where the hillbilly (is it even PC to call these people hillbillies?) gets shot through the chest with an arrow, or the part where Burt Reynolds' leg bone violently comes out through his skin and there's blood and skin flapping in the breeze. Or, how about a couple of hours of brutal boxing, where the guy's bleeding profusely out of both ears and half his nose is shifted over to where his left shoulder should be? No, that's fine, according to Mr. Handsome.
I guess we did our children a great disservice, then, by allowing them to watch Charlotte's Web and Chicken Run and Dumbo, because yo, the animals are all over the place in these movies. How disgusting and inappropriate. Our children are scarred for life.
I would just like to see Mr. Handsome take on the career of a film censor in his next life. Yes, all violent scenes and disgusting bits of blood, guns, swear words and complete and utter nastiness are all totally fine, but we have to cut out that bit with the two people playing farm animals. Because pigs are very, very dirty.