Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The wisdom-filled post is coming, I promise.


I was sort of kind of preparing a really good post for today, full of wisdom, some extremely potent humour, and a few amazing drawings that would make you all sigh in complete and utter awe.

Instead, I've got this.

Also known as NOTHING.

This studying and testing and fretting is kind of actually making me a little dizzy and constipated, and unable to concentrate, or write a blog post that actually makes any sense. I wish I could say that, while the kids have been away at camp, Mr. Handsome and I have been having orgies, and going out to fabulous dinners, and spending evenings by the fire with champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.

This couldn't be farther from the truth, y'all. And this is because I've been doing basically nothing but studying for both my biology and chemistry exams, and getting through a big chunk of my driver's license testing, which I need done before Aug. 1.

Oh, and all that, PLUS getting a bladder infection that makes me want to pee every five minutes and scream in pain as if shards of glass were penetrating my urethra. You only wish you could be me.

I'm starting to question my sanity. And yes, I realize most of you have been doing just that for a very long time now. I'm a little slow in accepting reality.

So, for now, I will bid you all adieu until Thursday, when I will have completed both my biology exam AND my road test for my ambulance driving license. And then, when I've finished whacking myself upside my head, I will again question my reason for living, because WHO DOES THIS?! Who completes two full-year high school courses in the span of six weeks, writes two exams, goes through all the training and testing for a new driver's license, and does a weekend's worth of first aid and CPR training (all in one month)?!?! No one, that's who. Except me, of course, because I love danger, and committing hari kari. And making everyone around me roll their eyes, shake their heads, and walk away in disbelief.

Just remember, while you are reading this very post, you could be me, learning about exhaust on an ambulance, or how to turn a sharp corner in the rain. Or, even better, you could be learning all about how slime moulds stay alive, or how the liver produces bile and then stores it in the gallbladder, until it gets spewed out into your gut. Yummy.

P.S. And while I'm away being so incredibly busy, please keep the following things in mind:
(1) I love the smell of dog. Don't you? It's been very humid here the past while, and the smell of dog is unavoidable in this here household. I'm sure glad I love that smell.

(2) I cannot believe that my blog has surpassed the 1 million point Alexa ranking! Which means absolutely nothing at all in the grandest scheme of things, but for me in my tiny little head, it means it's more popular than it's ever been! Which is kind of cool.

8 comments:

Claire said...

Good luck on the exams!! And, just to keep you in a good mood, the word I.D. for today is "boobu"...I kid you not! It's a good omen, right?

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Good luck I know you will make it.

Take care

Yvonne.

ReformingGeek said...

I like you because you are crazy!

Good Luck and I'm glad you like the smell of hot and humid dog. Not me. Ew.

Hot dog? Wait. Bratwurst?

Sheesh. I just had lunch. I shouldn't be hungry.

Wordver: biles.

Ew

Irish Gumbo said...

Ambulance driver. Now there's a position I hadn't thought of applying for :)

Lisa said...

You're both admiral and funny! Keep up the hard work, you insane woman.

meleah rebeccah said...

Good Luck on your exams. But, I think I would go through a bottle of fabreeze a day if my house smelled like dog!

ModernMom said...

Oh sweetie! I am glad I am not you! Best of luck on your exams.

blunt delivery said...

i fricken hate dogs.

except, i do sort of want a lazy english bulldog named shakespeare.

so sue me.


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