This is what I've been doing these past few weeks:
All.Day.Long. Every day.
And then one day just recently, this happened:
I guess you could say it was a sort of chemically induced nervous breakdown. But based on entirely realistic expectations, meaning I knew deep down inside there was no way in hell I was going to pass this chemistry course unless maybe some magic pink unicorns came prancing by and sprinkled magic brain dust on me at just the right moment.
But I knew THAT wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Magic pink unicorns are all busy right now trying to save Mel Gibson.
And then, it happened. My knight in shining armour, my saving grace. My husband came to my rescue.
I almost mauled him (in a good way) when he asked me if I'd want some help with the mathematical calculations and all the other crap that I couldn't care less about but need desperately to know in order to pass this course, and NOW!
So, Mr. Handsome, who is extremely smart in many many ways, took away some of my books and spent two days studying chemistry. FOR ME. Oh, and have I mentioned that he's taken a week-and-a-half off work to give me time to study? So, not only has he taken time off, but he's now spending his time studying Grade 12 chemistry. For me.
Now, let me explain something to you. I'm not used to people doing things for me. It's not something I'm terribly comfortable with, having come from a home where I was pretty much on my own, my own parent and friend. My dad worked a lot, and wasn't all that demonstrative emotionally (although I knew his love was strong), and my mother just wasn't. I'm much better than I used to be accepting kindness from others, but it still makes me feel unworthy. Or something equally as awful.
But my saving grace is knowing when I absolutely have no choice but to get someone's help. And who better than my sweet husband, who has been nothing but supportive through all my crap. Well, I've been supportive through his too, but I'm pretty sure if we had to choose a winner, there wouldn't be much hesitation, because I have most certainly thrown out a whole bunch more crap than he has.
So, Mr. Handsome helped me yesterday. For almost eight hours, minus a few small breaks, we went through question after question of chemistry, he the teacher, me the very slow and incompetent student. And guys, I'm happy to report that I'm starting to figure things out!! I am so excited!!! I can actually figure out some mathematical equations that just yesterday was pure and utter gibberish to me! It's almost like Mr. Handsome is a magician, in a cool cape and top hat, and is turning my previous brain of mush into a brain of absolute wonder! Witness:
Me, at the end of my proverbial chemical rope. Or something like that.
Mr. Handsome does his magic.
As you can see, I am one damn lucky gal.
Now I just have to figure out a way to sneak Mr. Handsome into the exam with me, and it's a done deal.