Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed

I'm trying something new out here that may or may not kill me or you, or may instead help me conquer the world, which is totally my goal in writing this blog. Obviously.


I am actually stealing this idea from a few places, so I'm not even pretending that it's my own original idea. Not only that, but this way, I also hold no responsibility for it if it ends up being a totally stupid idea worthy of nothing but shame.


Ahem.


What's the idea? I hear you all asking me, impatience and utter frustration in your voices.


And to that, I say, "Hold your ponies, people! Remember, patience is a virtue, whatever that means. Didn't you ever listen to what your momma told you? Me neither..."


Anyway, the idea. Actually, before I tell you, I'd just like to say that the fact it's taken me this long to actually come up with this idea is a testament to how utterly stupid and useless I really am with anything and everything to do with blogging, social networking, and life in general. Because this idea? It's pretty much obvious.


Did I ever mention I was a gifted student?


So, the idea.


I was thinking that, since weekends are a bit slower in the blog world, because people actually have lives outside of reading blogs (and I'm pretty sure most people read their blogs at work anyway), I at first decided just not to write anything on the weekends. Hence, the Monday, Wednesday, Friday posts, with the occasional Tuesday or Thursday post thrown in to throw everyone off and keep things a little lively. Yes, I have a sad, sad life.


But recently, I started thinking that maybe it might possibly be a good idea to do a sort of wrap-up of the week's posts on the weekend. You know, like a smorgasbord post replete with that week's posts, plus maybe some odds and ends that I thought might be worth a look. Sort of like a Mexican burrito, or maybe that mashy crap that your momma makes the day after Thanksgiving, when no one wants any more turkey and gravy, but there's so much left over that momma puts all the turkey, the gravy, the cranberry sauce, potatoes, carrots and turnips and turns it into something that resembles that dead carcass you saw too late on the highway last week and ran over with your SUV.


So, hang on to your hats, my friends! You're about to experience something so amazing, so unique, so inspiring, it's bound to make you fill your pants.

Stuff I did this week while nuzzling a wrestler's crotchal area:

 

Think of me as a loser, and you'd be correct in your assumption.

If you want sexy, you need not look any further.

Science experiments suck, and that is all.

And here's some awesome stuff I've seen that will definitely bunch up your knickers and make you want to scream with joy:

Look up "awesome" in the dictionary, and you'll see this girl's face.

This woman is my twin. Or I'm her wannabe. Or something like that.

That's it for this week, guys. I'm tired. It's a lot of work keeping you guys happy. God.