If you're here, then I'm not
If you're reading this, it means you are here, and I'm not.
I must be in Switzerland by now, or if you're only coming here late on Wednesday or Thursday, I'm already in Venice, trying not to drown.
I promise many delectable stories and photos on my return, but you'd better be quick, because a few days later, I'm leaving again for my trip to New York City with my fabulous Slut and her sister and momma (who apparently loves me more than she does Slut, which is typical).
Of course, NYC could be a total wash-out if the Icelandic volcano decides to ejaculate again and ground us in Venice. Get it? GROUND us in Venice?!!
Fine, don't laugh. I thought it was rather witty, and that's all that matters.
P.S. And all you stalkers out there, don't even bother starting to think about figuring out where I live. I have guards surrounding the house, five people occupying every room, and alarms on every door and window. I dare ya.