Confusion Abounds

To give you just a little idea of how confused and utterly "out of it" I am, I cannot even get the smallest thing right.

Case in point: is it blue box week, or black box week?

In our fair city, we alternate between recycling plastics one week, paper the other. It's the city's awesome and entirely economically-minded way to save a penny by forcing its residents to fill their bins to the brim, then buy another bin because one is almost never enough to last two weeks. Bins break because you try to stuff them as full as they can be filled, and then you fill them some more, and then they break, and then you swear loudly, and then your neighbours shun you even more.

The big question around our house most every week is: Is it black box or blue box? And god knows why no one can ever keep it straight from one week to the next. We never know. Every week, it's as if it's the first week ever of having to figure out which box it is, because we all look at each other come Wednesday evening, as if it's the first time we've ever had to even think about boxes in even a general sense, and start wondering which colour box we're supposed to put out to the curb. You'd never know our house contains a gifted student, and two adults with degrees.

And, while we're on the subject of coloured boxes, why couldn't they have come up with nicer colours for our recycling boxes? Like, maybe a bright fuchsia for paper, and maybe a dark spring green for plastics. You know, something a little jazzier, a little happier. Because god knows we all need a little more happiness and jazz in this life of ours.

Anyway, it was Wednesday evening, and it's Dee's responsibility to put out the garbage. And, as usual, he asks which box it is. And I, being the astute one of the family, always know which colour it is. Just like I know when it's time to change the guinea pig cage, or how I know when one of the kids isn't telling the truth, or how I know when Mr. Handsome has something up his sleeve. I just know.

So, Dee asks, and I answer, fully confident that I am once again totally in the know, totally omniscient, the goddess of all that is anything. "It's black box, sweetie," I tell him, in my goddess-like motherly voice that brings birds from afar to light on my shoulders, and the sun's rays to shine down on me from the heavens.

Thursday morning, we watch as truck after truck go by our house, not one stopping to pick up our garbage, nor our black box. Yes, this is how we spend our Thursday mornings. Exciting, I know. You too can do this when you unemployed! Believe me, it's as good as lying on a beach in Hawaii with a mai tai in either hand.

"Why are all the trucks just going by our house, Mommy?" Dee asks.

"Oh, they're probably picking up leaf bags," I say, fully confident in my judgment.

Dee peeks out the window and notices an overturned blue box at the neighbour's, which he mentions to me, nonchalantly.

"Blue box? BLUE BOX?! Why would they have a blue box out?" I ask, shocked that anyone would put their paper out in a blue box instead of the regulated BLACK box. How uncouth of them, our neighbours who love to come over to our property and clean it. I make a mental note to write them a little message and slip it into their mailbox at the first opportunity, reminding them that black boxes are for papers, NOT blue. God.

Then I command Dee to take a look down the street, just in case, and make sure everyone else has their black boxes out. Dee does as I request, while I check the online site just to ensure that I am indeed correct, as I always am, of course.

Dee comes back inside to tell me, just as I simultaneously discover, that it is indeed BLUE BOX week, and NOT black box week. What. The. Hell.

I am shocked beyond disbelief. How could this be? How could I be so wrong? So very, very wrong.

Once again, we are the laughing stock of the neighbourhood. We, who need the neighbours to come and clean our lawn, and scoff at our longer-than-a-millimetre grass, who never invite us to any of the neighbourhood parties...

We are once again (and still) the bane of everyone's existence. And, alas, I am possibly not the goddess of all knowledge, as I thought I was.


Love the post, don't put yourself down, we all make mistakes in life,
Bet your neighbours have made some you know nothing about.

Have a good week-end.

Gaston Studio said…
Hey, at least you've got recycling bins in your neighborhood. Four years ago, they started recycling in my little town. All one needed to do was call to receive a recycling bin... we're still waiting after numerous calls.
Simply Mags said…
LOL....we have the grey bin, blue bin and green bin. When our city first started the recycling program years ago, the grey box was designated for papers and the blue one was designated for the remaining recycling products. Now they've changed it so that you can put both paper and other recycling materials in either of the boxes. The green bin is for organic materials ( ie--food scraps, paper towels, etc). Add the yard waste into the mix and it can quite often turn into a clusterf*ck scenario. We can never remember which week is yard pick up week so hubby ends up putting it out every week......

We also have a 2 garbage bag limit. Hubby flew into a rage when he came home to find one bag still there. According to the nice little note they left, we had put out too many bags ( Hubby thought the bag limit was 3). Turns out they picked up the two smallest ones and left the biggest (and stinkiest) one behind. Needless to say, he was not impressed especially since it was during a heatwave.....
Don't beat yourself up~
I can barely remember what 2 days to put the garbage out...we don't even have recycling in our city! If I had to keep up with what day AND what color I could just hang-it-up!
Have a terrific weekend!
ReformingGeek said…
Cities are crazy. To further annoy your neighbors, put out both boxes very week. At least one of them will be picked up.

Look on the bright side. You are making your neighbors happy by providing entertainment for them. ;-)
Anonymous said…
you can show them! Put it all in a trash bag!!!!
Michel said…
Yaaay! you're back!! Just put both boxes out every week - they'll take what they want and leave the rest out for next week.

I am a problem solver for canada.

PS that's a stupid idea to alternate weeks. People are waaay too lazy to do that
♥Trina♥ said…
I would definitely have to write it on my calendars, put it in my phone (set to remind me), and then I'd probably still goof. Why can't they just make it easy for us?
Fragrant Liar said…
You are indeed the goddess of knowledge. The rest of the world just has to catch up with you. :)
Sometimes it is best just to acknowledge that you have a brain fog and lay low until it passes.
Sounds like something Boo did. He put the green recycling stuff in the gray bin. I told him that they weren't going to take it...wrong color bin. So, he puts a note on the bin saying, "Please take, trash!" Well, they drove past and left it there. Either they didn't understand the note or they just didn't want to deal with it.

Either way, I am with you...pretty bins will be more inspiring.

By the way, I too am unemployed (since July) and would love to only write for a living but unfortunately, that's not quite a guarantee. Hang in there!
It's an honest mistake. We only have one bin and half the time we can't remember what day it is.
Jenni Jiggety said…
I would never be able to keep track of that either!

What you need to do it have him go for a little walk in Trash Eve and see what the neighbors have out!

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