Allergies And A Dog's Dignity

The dog's depressed.

I bet you didn't know dogs could get depressed. I'd heard of elephants getting depressed, and sometimes dogs feeling kind of sad when their owners go away, but depressed? Nah.

But Gryphon? He's depressed. Most definitely.

How do I know? Because for the past three days, he won't get up when food's put in his bowl, he refuses to play, he will not get up and greet us at the door, and he has refused to go out and pee for the past 24 hours.

But, I mostly know because of this:

But more because of this:

Why is the dog wearing oven mitts, you ask? Don't all pets wear oven mitts?

Because he's a twit, that's why he's wearing dirty, ripped oven mitts, wrapped around his paws with clear packing tape. Yes, that's right. We abuse our dog, and we're damn proud of it.

Seriously, though, our dog is depressed because we put oven mitts on him to prevent him from chewing himself to death and destruction. Our hypoallergenic standard poodle, Gryphon, has allergies. Go figure.

Only in this family would there actually exist a being such as this. Oh, the irony of it all.

Every year, he gets itchy and has to go on antihistamine/steroid medication to stop the itch. And every year, we never quite know when he's going to start reacting to whatever it is he reacts to, and we don't want to give him the meds before he actually needs them because we are anal and hate spending a dime we know these meds can also harm if taken when not actually needed. So, remember children, don't ever forget to ask your parents if it really is okay before you take that extra dose of Gravol before they put you to bed. And don't drink the Koolaid (unless it's berry-flavoured).

So, a couple of years ago, Mr. Handsome designed an easy, yet economical, way to prevent the dog from chewing big huge bloody holes in himself. Hence, the oven mitts and the packing tape. Yes, folks, that PhD surely does come in handy now and again.

Of course, Gryphon thinks this is the utmost in punishment and disgrace, and he reacts at first by prancing around on tiptoe, a la Elmer Fudd when he's "hunting wabbit".

And then, when he realizes how utterly stupid he looks, and once he figures out how to actually sit and lie down with his paws all wrapped up, he lies down, and doesn't get up. Instead, he lies there and watches us, his eyeballs moving to and fro. It's a sad sight, really. And yet, not. Because he really brings this upon himself in the first place. And so, we sit and we point fingers at him, and we laugh devil laughs as we stare at the poor soul with oven mitts for feet.

He is disgusted with us, he is disgusted with himself, and meanwhile, his bladder gets fuller and fuller. He's a strange dog.

Now, if only I could get him to learn how to bake a lasagna, I'd be home free. Might as well put those mitts to good use, seeing as we can't use them.


Gaston Studio said…
Poor guy! He just doesn't realize that you're not punishing him, but helping him. My vet says dogs and cats can definitely get depressed and have dementia; I know both of these to be the case with my 16 year old cat.
Shana said…
Poor little doggy
Oh, the poor thing! We had a shih tzu that had allergies that required monthly shots, steriods and antihistimines - it was horrible. She was allergic to grass, so would walk on anything non-grass to find a spot to pee.

We also used to have a peke that we would put a raincoat on, and she'd hide behind the curtains and wouldn't come out until we reached in to take it off!

But the oven mitts - that is absolutely ingenious! We tried wash cloths with tape, but oven mitts ... I think you should patent that!
Oh the poor wee dog, still I suppose they must get depressed if things are not well. I do hope he gets better soon.

The Old Silly said…
Sigh, now we have the "depressed doggy syndrome." Bet they come out with a pill for it. (wink)

Marvin D Wilson
♥Trina♥ said…
Oh poor Gryphon!! Bless his sweet little puppy dog heart. But ya have to admit. It IS pretty darn funny. I know I'd laugh at mine if they had to wear oven mitts.
Jane! said…
He's probably sad because he has no thumbs for the oven mits. Way to rub it in, Mary.
ReformingGeek said…
That has to be miserable. I grew up with poodles and they had allergy problems, too. Sigh.

Hope he gets better soon.
kailani said…
Poor thing! My mom's dog gets depressed at times but never to the point of hurting himself. I hope he's feeling better soon!

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