Sunday, August 1, 2010

Angelina's chest sure is comfy, whereas mine is just flattish


My brain remains cluttered with chemical equations and laws, and I'm beginning to look like the frazzled professor we've all had at one time or another in university: unbrushed hair, no shower for three-plus days, and no change of clothing. Here I wait for my chemistry exam that seems to have disappeared into the ether (little chemistry joke there), somewhere between here and Toronto, hoping the time comes sooner rather than later to write the damn thing so I can finally begin to forget all those useless things I've been jamming into my poor little brain over the last five weeks, and refill it with things that actually make sense, like what flavour ice cream is best for a dinner alone, or how does one get away with only brushing one's teeth once a week but look like one brushes three times a day.

Those things.

Spending the weekend at home alone with Dee, who's had a stomach bug that just likes it a bit too much inside his intestines to leave (Mr. Handsome and Em have gone to Toronto to meet our newest addition to the family). And for the past couple of days, I've been feeling a little nauseated as well, which probably means I will either (a) be really really sick when I finally do end up writing my exam, or (b) I will be fine up until I write the exam, and then I will fall apart into a million little nauseated pieces of puke. Either way, I lose.

Meanwhile ...



* I invented a life-saving device that I'm sure will one day come in handy.


And in other places on the Internet that I found to be worthy of mention (and I also wish I was them, kind of):

* This guy is beyond hilarious. He is stupendous, amazingly clever, and also handsome. I haven't seem them, but I bet he even has a good set of pecs. Or maybe a peck of pecs. Either way, it's all good.

* This woman blows me away with her honesty, humour, dig-deep-down life stories. She is awesome, and you need to go see her NOW!!

Sheesh. Angelina may be bony, but her chest sure is comfy. Clearly she's had work done.

3 comments:

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Hello Mary, I do hope your son quickly recovers and you don't get it, Heaven Forbid!!!!!!
I no doubt wish all your exams was completed and you out on the road as a paramedic.
Good luck to you.
Take care.
Yvonne.

MsDarkstar said...

Ok, I have to say this because it's been on my mind for years now. How in the HELL do celebrities have no freakin' underarm hair/underarm stubble? Do they laser remove it or are their armpits airbrushed? Because even when I have JUST shaved/Nair'd, there is freakin' stubble and then I see Angelina Jolie's perfect freakin' pits and wonder WTF I'm going wrong.

And... I hope your son feels better, you don't get sick and your exam goes well!

blunt delivery said...

shut up right now. stop yourself!!!! i do not deserve such shout outs!

but thank you nonetheless.

my darling, the line about fall apart into a million little pieces of puke, LITERALLY made me laugh for ten minutes.

sigh.

smooches


View my page on Moms Helping Moms