Friday, August 6, 2010

This is why I get Mother of the Year Award. No, really, I do. Well, at least I should.


This is why I win Mother of the Year Award.

I couldn't upload the images, so you'll have to link to them. I'm extremely sorry for this, but it's par for the course when you put me in a room with a computer.

So, just click on the following links and you'll get the picture. Pun totally intended, because I've got nothing else for y'all today, folks. I'm spent, as in, my brain has fallen apart and I am now walking around zombie-like and full of anger because just as I finished the last of my requirements on Thursday to get into the paramedic program,  I got the Period From Hell, and a wicked eye infection, which has now spread to both eyes and requires me to put antibiotic drops into my eyeballs thrice per day, and squint in pain the rest of the time.

I also feel all left out because, once again, I'm not going to BlogHer, and I kind of wanted to go this year, mostly because it's in New York City, but I knew right from the start that I wouldn't be going because I've been everywhere this year, including New York City, and just don't have the money for a week more of decadence. Plus, I was kind of busy up until ... now. Hence, I sit at home with mongo cramps and bleeding eyes.

On a positive note, because that's what I'm all about, my kids are going away to camp again, so I get five days of peace and doing whatever the hell I like all day long, which means watching a lot of bad tv, reading a lot of bad books, and maybe even having a shower.

And now, the piece de resistance: this is why I win Mother of The Year Award. I hope these links work, because I'm thinking they won't, and then everyone will be, like, "What the hell is wrong with that woman?! This is obviously why she can't get a job."



 If this isn't easy to understand, it's understandable. I was under the influence of many pills, including codeine, Tylenol and other things I found lying around the house.In this image, I am telling off the children, and making them take the dog for a walk.


 Those purply things are storm clouds. The kids are supposed to look scared, but they don't. This is after I told them to walk the dog, and they are now walking the dog, but there is thunder and nasty rumblings going on, but onward they go, because their mother told them to.


 Now they look like they just crapped their pants, but they're just scared. And rightly so, because the heavens above opened up around them and seemingly swallowed them whole. The poor children didn't know what hit them. Figuratively speaking, of course. Maybe.

 Apparently, my alert daughter knew how to change the image type on my pictures so that I could actually upload them instead of sending you through the internet atmosphere of nowhereland to find them, only to be terribly disappointed because there was all this build-up and such, and all you got at the end was some half-assed picture of my kids being scared half to death. Does it make you feel better to know that these pictures took me A VERY LONG TIME to create? Me neither.

3 comments:

Lisa said...

I am so glad it's not just me.

Jen said...

I'm not at Blogher either, but we have Cheese in a can at my place for whoever else isn't going. Sorry about your eyes and your cramps, that sucks.

blunt delivery said...

dude.

i'm not gonna pretend like it doesn't suck to be you right now, cus it does.

those pictures = pretty awesome.

me = not jealous of you right now.

but i'm sure in another week or so, that'll change.


View my page on Moms Helping Moms