Unbearable

The excitement was almost unbearable. My heart palpitations were on the verge of causing a myocardial infarction. My breath came in short, rapid gasps, almost sending me into the throes of carbon dioxidosis.

A fire truck came barrelling down our street on Sunday, right in front of our house, sirens blaring.

And where there's a fire truck, there are firefighters.



Need I say more?

There were actually two fire trucks, and they stopped not too far from my house. Of course, I immediately thought, 'What a great way to start a Sunday!', and I wanted to get my boots on and run out there to see what I could do to help, because that's how I roll, especially when firefighters are involved. But I didn't. Instead, I perched in front of our big living room window and watched intently.

The excitement, unfortunately, was short-lived. About five burly men jumped out of the trucks and ran toward a house on our side of the street. They disappeared into a house. And then, minutes later, they came out again, got into their trucks, and left.

Once again, I was left with nothing but my imagination.

Even Mr. Handsome felt bad for me.

So, instead of feeling sorry for myself, as I normally would, I actually brushed me teeth AND my hair (I know!) and took Gryphon to the dog park so that he could get rid of some of his energy. And he frolicked with all the happy dogs, and even met one he thought was worthy of humping. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures of the event despite having my camera with me. I was too busy trying to pull him off the poor, unsuspecting canine, who was only a quarter of Gryphon's size.

On a more serious note, tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of my dad's death. It's a day of sadness for me, because I miss him so much. He passed away 10 days after being placed in one of the best nursing homes in the city, and I still feel awfully guilty for how things happened and wish I could change it all, even though I know I did everything I could, and then some. I think about him every day.

I miss his stupid jokes that he would repeat over and over again, forgetting that he'd told it to me just the other day. I miss how he'd forget the punch line, or mix up the words because English was his third (or fourth) language. I miss his silent support, knowing he was always there for us. I miss his gentleness. I miss that he would never want me to leave when I came to visit, wanting the company as he sat there with his eyes closed. I miss him.

It's a hurt that will never go away.

Miss you and love you, Daddy-o.

Comments

Me-Me King said…
Holy damsel in distress, rescue me! I just love a man out of his uniform.
What a touching tribute to your dad! It's a good thing to remember him, Mary, not a sad thing. You're remembering the best part of him! That's all any parent could hope for after having left their loved ones.
ReformingGeek said…
That was nice. It made me think of my dad. I miss the good things and it hurst to think of the pain he was in before he went into the coma.

I'm sorry you didn't get to see much firefighter action.
Scribe said…
I feel your sadness, Mary. You voiced your feelings perfectly and I know I'd feel the same way about my dad.
blueviolet said…
I feel your pain for your dad. I have the same sense of loss that just doesn't seem to heal.

But, I gotta say. Those firemen are hawt!
♥Trina♥ said…
I'm fortunate to still have both my parents, but not a day goes by that I don't miss my grandmother, and she's been gone 11 years now. And I miss my father-in-law terribly...he's been gone 9 years.

I hope that tomorrow will be a day filled with wonderful, happy memories and few tears.
Gaston Studio said…
You had me at the photo...
Julie said…
HELLO. Would almost make me set my own house on fire!! ha ha

Cute blog!

Julie
www.ridingaside.blogspot.com
Shieldmaiden96 said…
Sadly there aren't too many dudes like that in most departments. I joke that if my department tried to do a 'Sexy Firemen' calendar we'd make it to about March. And that's only because there's a pair of twins.

(Of course, I don't say this to them. They'd leave unpleasant things in my boots.)

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