Dial "D" For Diarrhea And Disney!

It's been a week since I last posted anything about my amazingly exciting life, and for that, I apologize profusely. I've been so crazy busy, though, that I'm surprised I'm still thinking straight.

Okay, I lied. I haven't been busy at all. Not really, anyway. Unless, of course, you consider sitting on the toilet for 16 out of 24 hours every day busy, moaning as your insides are no longer inside. That awful noise you heard the other night that woke you out of your wonderfully deep sleep? Yeah, that was me. On the toilet.

I'm STILL sick, and I'm sick and tired of being sick...and tired. I finally got in to see my doctor, and told him I've had this stomach thing going on four weeks now, and isn't enough enough when it comes to diarrhea? And you know what? He agreed. There is, in fact, a stomach virus making the rounds in the nation's capital, but four weeks is still an awfully long time. He told me to take some Imodium to try and settle things down, and then, if things don't improve in a week's time, come back and see him. Well, they're not getting any better, folks. Story of my sad and sorry life. He also said if it doesn't get better, I have to get my Hershey Squirts examined. Oh, how I envy the technician that gets my sample.

And aren't you glad you visited my blog today?

Apart from having to be near a toilet 24/7, things have just been dandy for me. Our new dishwasher finally got installed, and I've already named it: Sparky. Because this dishwasher has saved my life and my nerves. There is nothing worse than having to listen to your children bicker every day because they have to wash the dishes by hand, unless you include having to re-wash the same dishes yourself because your children don't care to actually make sure the dishes are clean before putting them away. I love my new dishwasher. Let's hope it lasts longer than the last one.

The whole family also went to get their H1N1 shot on Saturday, and wasn't that more fun than a trip to Disney World (speaking of which, more on that in a minute). There's been a whole lot of kerfuffle here about the H1N1 shot, and the wait times, the line-ups, and we've been patiently waiting for the right time to go, seeing as three out of four of us have underlying conditions which make us part of the population who get their shot before "the regular folk". Yes, that means we're better than they are.

Anywearespecialhaha, everyone gets their shot without a flinch passing before their eyes, and then it's Dee's turn, and all hell breaks loose faster than you can say "what the hell?". He starts shaking and crying and says over and over that he doesn't want the shot, and I keep telling him he has no choice, and the tears are just streaming down his pudgy little cheeks, and I feel so sorry for the poor little guy because he's been through enough in his short life, and then, it's over and he wipes the snot off his face and pouts for the rest of the day. But he lived through it.

Mr. Handsome's mom came along with us, and boy, she attracts drama like a honeysuckle draws bees. Because soon after she got her shot, she reads the paper they give out talking about side effects and stuff, and all of a sudden she's not feeling so well -- kind of dizzy and hot -- so I go tell one of the many paramedics who were sitting around (and not one of them were hunky, goddammit), and they made her lie flat on the floor with her feet up on a chair in front of everyone in the room. And how embarrassing is that?! Very. Poor woman. After getting crapped on by the nurse there because momma hadn't had anything to eat, and having some orange juice to perk up her system a bit, we were on our way home again.

But the creme de la creme, guys, is this: we're going to Disney! We've been a few times now, but man, that place does something to us. Are we the only ones who feel this way about Disney World? We had no emotional anything toward this place before our first trip back in 2002, through Make-a-Wish. But let me tell you, that trip did it for us. Because ever since then, we've been Disney Crazy. Especially Mr. Handsome, of all people. If you knew Mr. Handsome like I know Mr. Handsome, you would understand. Mr. Handsome's "other" name is Dr. Spock, guys. Does that give you a clue?

Anyway, we're going to Disney, a very spur-of-the-moment, last-minute decision, based on nothing but our stress levels over the past half year or so. That, and the fact that we haven't had a real vacation in over four years. Not to mention hotel prices and airline costs are next to nothing right now, and we already have Disney passes from our last trip that we didn't use up. And the library job I interviewed for -- I got the job, and it doesn't start until sometime in 2010! All these facts pretty much made up our minds for us.

Now, as long as my tummy rumblings are cured before the trip, I'll be a happy camper. If not, I'm thinking Depends.


Hope you start to feel better soon. Stomach Issues are no fun, hopefully the can find out what it is and give you something for it.

Disney is something to look forward too, hopefully the squirts are gone by then because that would really be NO FUN!
Simply Mags said…
I love DisneyWorld! It's been a few years since I've been but I've always had a blast! I keep telling the hubby it's sooooooooo worth going, however, he isn't convinced and thinks it's just for little kids....trying to figue out a way to make him go!

Sorry about your bum being sick. Sounds crap-tacular! Hope you're feeling better soon!
Wow, you're the only person I know who makes having diarrhea funny! Hope the imodium helps and no further testing is needed. That's super about the job, and that you get to have a vacation before it starts! congratulations!
I sincerely hope your tummy returns to some form of normality soon, it must be dreadful for you.
Though you make light of the situation you must be feeling weak.
Take care.
ReformingGeek said…
Yeah, your insides on the outside is not a good thing. Get well soon! No Depends, please.

I like your comment about too much drama. That sounds like my mom. It seems like she can't do anything without "something" happening. I think she wears a sign.
Ugh. I'd like to say I can't relate...well, thankfully, not completely...I can relate somewhat. Have had the flu going on two weeks and it shows no signs of letting up. I'm with you...well, sort of.

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