School Just Might Do Me In After All

As you read this, I am in my first class at college, looking very out-of-place and rather nervous as I look around the room and notice that I could be anyone's grandmother.

Update: OK, maybe I was a tad too quick with that last statement, because as I was getting ready to go to my first class (gym/fitness), my bowels exploded and I ended up sitting on the toilet for more than half the class. To which, Mr. Handsome would reply, "Typical." And he'd be right.

So much for my fitness class. Well, at least my bowels are in shape. I think.

The rest of my first day was a little less eventful, shall we say? I had Psychopathology, which is right up my alley (I could have written the text, yo), and then I had Anatomy & Physiology, which is just another way of saying the class looks and examines the naked body. Again, right up my alley.

And guys, I won a prize! Why? Because I am the definition of awesome, that's why. Actually, it's because we had this really odd practice test in the Psychopathology class, and the test had nothing at all to do with psychopathology (unless you include hockey teams and the capital of Australia), which is probably why I got all the answers right. And, out of 56 people, I was the only one. Ahem. The prize? A little bag of gummy bears. I felt like I was in kindergarten again.

Today we had another practice test in our Medical Terminology class, and I got that one all right as well.

Do you see a pattern here, my friends?

The pattern: I have no problem answering questions correctly when it doesn't count. Which also means, when the real tests are here, I'm totally screwed. Hello unemployment! Good to see you again!

Next, watch as a bunch of hunky student paramedics poke and prod my stretch marks!