Travelling is a dangerous thing to do, so I did it for you. You're welcome.

So, we're back.

And, although Mr. Handsome and I had a wonderful time in Geneva and Venice last week, I am now completely sure the world is out to get me. Check it out:

Note the look on my face. Clearly, not pleased.

And if that wasn't enough, I had to live with a ripped toenail for the entire week because I refused to bring nail clippers on our trip because they are just a huge hassle and take up way too much space. So, instead, I ended up getting my nail caught in the bedspread about a million-and-one times, and had to keep tucking my toe under my foot while traipsing about because the whole thing was unsightly and I'm all about image, as you well know.

Our trip to Europe was awesome, despite my apparent injuries. It's actually surprising we actually even lived through it all, thanks to the crazy driving practices of our European friends. What you think is a one-way street is actually two-way, and sometimes four-way. And yes, that is possible, apparently. Because not only do one-way streets become multi-way, depending on who is driving, but people also tend to think that sidewalks are made for driving motorcycles.

So, on top of my insect bites and nail injury, I got a great case of whiplash just from our numerous attempts at navigating Swiss and Italian streets without getting run down by a bus, trolley, rogue car or scooter. It's vicious out there, people. Vicious and nonsensical.

And did I mention the jet lag? No? Well, then, let me tell you...I now know what it means. And if you looked up the meaning in the dictionary, this is what you'd see:

I Photoshopped this as much as I could. Please forgive me.

And now I have jet lag all over again, having just come home late yesterday. And, although we are now ahead by six hours (since Europe is six hours ahead of us here in Ottawa), I still feel like crap. Go figure. Clearly, jet lag is out to get me as well.

Apart from all that, our trip was amazing. We were in Geneva for three days, with Mr. Handsome doing his presentation at the United Nations last Tuesday afternoon, leaving me to my own for hours on end, which is never a good thing. I ended up walking around Old Geneva for four hours, taking photos of everything, including thirsty pigeons.

 Strangely enough, people drink from these fountains too. Yeah.

Then, last Wednesday, we boarded a train with barking dogs and crying babies (but no chickens!) and spent eight glorious hours watching the scenery as we made our way through the Swiss and Italian Alps to Venice, where we spent another three days exploring what turns out to be a very strange (yet beautiful) city.

Venice is like no other place in this world. And to show you what I mean, I will post photos of my trip to both Geneva and Venice throughout the week, because I am tired, exhausted, have laundry to do, and have to get ready for my trip to New York City with Slut, her sister and momma, which begins this coming Thursday. And no, I don't plan things very well. And no, I don't normally travel this much. But, my motto is, when the opportunity presents itself, you've got to go for it. And you pay for it later.

So, here you go, a few photos of Geneva and Venice for your viewing pleasure. And I am now going to go dunk my head in a large bowl of ice water to try and wake up.

Not sure what this sign means. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with dirty penises. Or banana peels.

My very artistic impression of Geneva at night, with a full moon.

Venice.