Who Does That?! We Do, That's Who!

Our upstairs bathroom needs a makeover. It's the only room in our entire 60-year-old house that's actually even been redone since we moved in back in 1998, and yet, it needs one again.

Our house is a four-bedroom house, the largest model in the neighbourhood. We love it here. But the bathrooms? They suck BIG time. You see, back in the 50s, apparently they didn't need more than one full bathroom for a family. Somehow, they all got along, they all fit into the space of a closet, and somehow they were all able to function well without the use of cupboard space.

I'm here to tell you that either the families of the 50s were half our size, both in height and width, or they needed only half the number of showers and towels and extraneous appliances and lotions and things, because god help me, there is not an inch to spare in that room.

Not that we'll ever be able to do anything more with our bathroom than we've already done, except maybe update it someday when we actually have some money. We already knocked out a wall and took over part of the closet in the fourth bedroom (sorry, Dee) so that we could put in a tub. Yeah, the room is THAT small.

I have to say, however, that our upstairs bathroom is definitely in better shape than our main floor bathroom, which is actually only a powder room. It still has hideous brown wallpaper with ducks, that's how ugly it is. I have BIG plans for this room that is no bigger than the washrooms on airplanes. BIG plans need BIG money, which we don't have. So, the BIG plans are on hold. This room is so small, a normal door can't even fit. They had to put in a pocket door that slides directly into the wall (which is actually pretty cool, and is worth hours of fun when small children are visiting, or adults who don't know about pocket doors, in which case we have a little fun with them, telling them we never put a door in for that room).

Anyway, I actually didn't write this post with the intention of complaining about our bathrooms. I kind of went off on a wee tangent, I guess, before even getting into the main topic of discussion here. Too much medication, I guess. Again.

So, the whole topic of bathroom discussion actually began the other evening over the family's bathroom usage -- specifically, the bathtub. Someone on television must have said something (I think it was part of the Emmy's extravaganza), and I turned to Mr. Handsome and said, "Who the hell pees in the tub when they're showering?!" all aghast and disgusted.

And I hear this wee, "I do," from the far corner of the couch.

I look, and it was Em. WHAT?!?! You PEE in the TUB??!!! Yup, she does.

She softened it by adding, "Well, only sometimes."

Why would be the first question I wanted to ask, but I was so disgusted by the thought of someone peeing in our tub that I almost passed out because I had forgotten to breathe. It was as if my internal mechanisms had just shut down, in an effort to protect me from even thinking about such an abomination.

As my colour came back, I hear, "So do I," from the kitchen.

WHAT?!? Dee too??!

I was on the verge of pulling my hair out, but decided against it because I know I don't look great without hair. Just believe me. My face is too fat, my jowls too jowly, and I don't want to talk about it.

Dee starts giggling, and Em joins him.

And then Mr. Handsome, the children's male role model, the man I married, states, "I do too."

OH.MY.GOD.

He then quickly added, "Only once in a while," as if that would make it all better.

Does everyone do this? Am I the odd one out here? I DON'T THINK SO. Please, you guys, tell me the truth. Do you pee in the shower?

I don't need a bigger bathroom. I need a new tub.