Relax, Go With The Flow, Part 2, In Which Mr. Handsome Begins To Really Impress His Princess

For the love of god, if you haven't read the first part of this amazing, out-of-this-world adventure, you need to go here first, read it, then come back here.


After driving for two hours, with me nattering on and on AND ON in Mr. Handsome's ear and continually trying to guess where we were going for our weekend anniversary getaway trip, we finally arrived at our destination. At first, I thought we might be heading to Quebec City, because that is one of my favourite places in the world, with its Old World charm, its buildings that are older than old itself, its amazing history, and its food (of course).It is also the first time I experienced one of Mr. Handsome's ... shall we say ... gaseous exuberances. So, as you can see, it holds many special memories for me.


A photo of Quebec City. I actually had a dream of this actual street once. Thought you'd want to know.

But, of course, we didn't go there, because Quebec City is a good five to six hours away from Ottawa, and Mr. Handsome didn't want to spend all goddammed weekend driving his beloved (that would be me) around in a Honda, because his beloved would get all cranky and glare at him, and Sexy Time would definitely have gotten diminished tenfold.

Then, I thought we might be going to Maine, because I've mentioned it more than once that I've never been there, that I hear it's beautiful, and that I'd like to go there someday before I die (which, based on how I've been feeling lately, could be any day now). I don't know how long a drive it is, and Mr. Handsome didn't take me there either.

Then, I thought for sure we were heading to New York City, because I've always always always wanted to go there, because if I'm anything, I'm a Big City Girl, and also because my friend Slut went there last year, and brought me back these beautiful silver earrings, which she claimed were actually from Tiffany's, but I don't believe her, so if we went there, I could actually do some detective work and find out if my best friend is a big liar, because we already know she's a slut.

But, no, guys, we didn't go there either.

Where did we go? you ask.

We went to Kingston, that's where we went. Kingston is very much one of my favourite places to go, as it is Mr. Handsome's. We could live there, we could. It's a smaller version of Ottawa, and for that reason, we like it muchly. Its beauty is so obvious, with its many limestone homes, and its location on Lake Ontario and the St. Lawrence. Mr. Handsome almost went to school here, to Queen's University, but he ended up not going there, and I don't remember why. That was about three lifetimes ago. I can't remember what I had for breakfast, let alone 20 years ago. Wait a minute. I didn't have breakfast today. Or did I?

So, we went to Kingston, and I was beyond excited. Kingston has such beauty, and it also has some great restaurants, and that's what I'm about: Eating good food.

But, not only did we go to Kingston, which is pure awesomeness in itself. Oh no. That's not good enough for Mr. Handsome's princess. We went to Kingston, and we stayed here:


which, if you're wondering, is Heaven On Earth, and I'm not even religious. This place is called The Secret Garden, and it's an historic mansion that has been turned into an elite bed and breakfast. And that is where we stayed for two glorious nights of Sexy Time. This B&B is filled with antiques from the Victorian period, with 15-foot high ceilings, original stained glass windows, and ghosts. That's right, people. Ghosts. It's part of the Haunted Walk of Kingston tour, which we didn't do. And, try as I might, I didn't hear or see any ghosts, but I wanted to. I guess, however, seeing myself in the mirror every morning was scary enough.

We stayed in a room named Angels' Watch, because it overlooks a beautiful old church. We had a fireplace, Queen-sized bed, a chaise longue, and everything was colour-coordinated in butter yellows and robin egg blues. Just absolute gorgeousness.

Speaking of gorgeousness:


Did I not look good here? Now, understand me. This does not happen often, my friends. The fact that it was a good hair day was amazing in and of itself. For that to also coincide with flawless make-up application is beyond belief.

And for your information, in case you're wondering, that's not a glare. It's my Sexy, Come Hither Look. Deal with it.

After lots of Sexy Time we were both ready to go, Mr. Handsome took me to one of the best restaurants on the planet: Le Chien Noir Bistro.


This place has some of the best food going, and if you're ever anywhere near Kingston, you have to go there. I had my very first Mimosa, and Mr. Handsome had his first Cosmo. We are specialty drink virgins no more.

After a dinner of steak frites (mine) -- which is just a fancy name for steak and fries -- and a meal of lamb (Mr. Handsome's), we left, fully sated, and slowly made our way back to the B&B.

But the evening wasn't over yet. Nay, far from it.

Hold on to your panties for Part III of this amazingly tantalizing, totally stupendous adventure...