I Hate It When

I mistakenly dial the phone with my enormous butt.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tornado Touchdown! Hup! Hup!

Image
Overturned trees... ...ripped out of the ground by their roots... Would you look at that tree? The Leaning Pine of Pisa. So, apparently we had a tornado here Saturday evening, and I slept right through it. It was a low-grade tornado and it actually touched down in a few areas, all around my neighbourhood. That figures. No one was hurt, which is what's important, of course. But I still think what's more important to report is that I actually slept through it. Let's think about that for a moment, shall we? A tornado, ripping roofs off houses, and 70-year-old trees out by their roots. Me, asleep. Gives you an idea of what kind of day I'd had. Although, I guess it helps that I can't hear out of my left ear. A relatively recent health issue. More on that another day, when I really have nothing else to talk about. It was really strange, actually, to see these uprooted trees, because right beside them were tiny saplings, fully erect and happily growing. Not touched in t...
Read more

Want Some Kielbasa?

Image
I'm a little worried, a little scared, a little concerned, because who really wants a Polish sausage down their throat? Bet you don't get asked that question every day. I'm off to my first appointment with a gastroenterologist this afternoon, to start trying to get to the bottom of my gastrointestinal malaises that have plagued me oh so much for what seems like three lifetimes, but is only really about five years. Maybe six. No more than eight. Tops. Okay, so I've been very hesitant to get this thing investigated properly. Why? Well, it's not like it's a pimple on my cheek that needs a good squeeze, or an ingrown toenail that needs trimming, or even one of my many other ailments that are not so fun to have, and yet, not as bad as my tummy woes. This, folks, this is the real thing, the honker of illnesses, the kowabunga of killers. Because I know what the doctor is going to say, and this is what I dread. He is going to say I need a very invasive procedure called...
Read more

Mama

Image
My mother died last night. I don't know how to feel or what I feel. I am sad, but not just because of her passing. I am sad for a wasted lifetime of anger, resentment, and hatred. She'd been in and out of the hospital over the past few years and was getting on, but you know, when it actually happens, it's always a shock. It doesn't matter how much time you have to mull things over, knowing this is bound to happen sooner rather than later. It's still unbelievable when it finally does happen. This last time, she had been in the hospital for about two weeks, but had been doing quite well. They were just waiting for a bed to open up for her at a longer-term care facility so that she could further recuperate before returning home. She was in the hospital for multiple spinal fractures. Thank you, osteoporosis. Nothing at all related to her eventual demise. Last Sunday, she was walking the halls in the hospital. Monday, she didn't feel so great. Tuesday came and she b...
Read more