Holy Mackerel

Oh. Hello there. Why, yes, I'm still alive. Thank you for asking. At least, I think I am. Just a second. Yup. I'm alive. But just barely. Lots has happened since I last wrote on Dec. 16, which is almost two Oh weeks ago, which is a lifetime in the world of the blog. And when I last wrote (on Dec. 16), I was getting all ready for a nice big Christmas holiday, which I so badly needed. Firstly, I should have known I was totally jinxing myself by writing that. And secondly, I got what I asked for, and then some. Boy, did I ever. And, before I go on, can I say that I've missed you, and hope you still remember me??? So, when I last wrote, I had one more exam to do, which was my lab exam. As well, I had one lift to accomplish before I could heave a heavy sigh and forget about body parts for at least a week. Well, as luck may have it (and by luck I mean the kind of luck that makes you want to twist your underwear in a knot and stuff them into your throat, because that wou...

So, we're heading to Toronto for the weekend, sans Mr. Handsome, which some would say is a vacation in itself. Which is to say, Mr. Handsome *I* would say that. Not really. Maybe. We haven't seen Mr. Handsome's sister's baby "Oscar" in a few months, and that was when they came up here at Christmas time, which means we hardly saw them at all because we were all sick with  The Plague of Disney World and were, as a result, quarantined by the laws of Mr. Handsome's family. Also, Mr. Handsome's sister wanted us to come down to Toronto and babysit visit, so we're going. She's also pregnant AGAIN, so this is my chance to make fun of her ever-expanding body. I'm taking Em, Dee and Gryphon with me (why yes, as a matter of fact, I do like horrific car rides), and we're leaving Friday morning and coming back Monday afternoon, which means that, not only am I missing Valentine's Day with Mr. Handsome, but also that I'm posting my usua...

We had fireworks here Monday night. A sight to behold. Beautiful, in fact. Now, before your dirty little birds' minds go totally into the gutter, let me explain. Mr. Handsome and I were innocently sitting on the couch, watching a show about pregnant people in peril (what else?!), when suddenly a very bright and shiny blue light flashed before our eyes on the street in front of us, and seemed to move across, toward the main street. I was sure it was yet another plow coming to push snow and ice in front of our laneway once again, forcing us to push Dee out the door into the cold to shovel (he has to do something to earn his keep). Mr. Handsome, on the other hand, was positive it was an alien. Of course it was. The flashing blue light continued happening on and off for the next 29 minutes, with either myself or Mr. Handsome running to the window to check it out everytime it would appear. But, alas, we could not for the life of us figure out what the hell it was. There was no...

Ahhh, Christmas. My most favourite time of the year. This year, however, things were a little different, thanks to my flu that is still hanging on tight and giving me continuous grief morning, noon and night, AND our trip to Florida, which somehow mixed my head all up and made me think it wasn't Christmas (I mean, you can't have Christmas and palm trees at the same time, right?), so then suddenly I wasn't in the Christmas spirit anymore, and everything seemed surreal, like I was in a modern version of It's A Wonderful, Wonderful Life . This year Christmas was more of a challenge than usual because I was pretty much bed-bound until Dec. 23, when I forced myself to run a brush through my hair and head out into the throngs of crazy people to get the last of what was needed for the holidays. Of course, I overdid it that day, because on Christmas Eve, I felt like crap, more than usual. My fever came back, I felt weak, and I had to lie down every few minutes. That'll ...

I spent the better part of the weekend in one freezing hockey arena or another, and then I died because I couldn't warm up. But thank god I am immortal, because I had to come back to life and go back to yet another arena on Sunday so that Dee and his team could play in the finals of this tournament they had signed up for. They came in second place, which should actually have been first, seeing as the team they were up against were so much better than Dee's team that even a blind man high on Mai Tais could have seen that. And what I mean by that is that, whereas Dee's team is C level and very good for C level, this team should have been labeled AA, as in WAAAAAAY better.And they were from North Bay, which is a rather smallish city way up in northern Ontario, and they probably only have one hockey team, and the only thing they probably do up there is play hockey. Because chances are they don't even have electricity. So, I guess what I'm saying is I'm sort o...

Our afternoon and evening with my brother and sister-in-law was fabulous, thanks for asking. They live in Chelsea, Quebec, a tiny hamlet of sorts nestled in the Laurentian Mountains, also known as the Adirondacks, with a history as rich as many of its current residents. The village has gone through many a transformation, and is now a very desirable area of residence for those who have lots of dough. It's about 20 minutes to half an hour from our house to theirs, and I don't know why we don't get together more often. It's ridiculous, really. Especially since Gee and Ess are the only family on my side that we have left. My younger brother, Leo, is incognito, and that's the way he wants it. Long story. Maybe someday I'll tell you about it. Suffice it to say that I pretty much had written him off for dead and gone about 10 years ago. I don't talk about it much because it's still very difficult for me to accept. My brother and sister-in-law do not exactly f...

Happy Easter Today, we are off to my brother's and sister-in-law's home in Chelsea, Quebec (30 minutes from our home) for a superb Easter dinner, complete with discussions about artwork (they're both amazing artists), dogs running akimbo, and lots of talking with different accents, and lots of laughing over stupid jokes that make no sense, because that's what we do when we get together, which isn't nearly often enough. I will take copious amounts of allergy medicine beforehand, and hope I don't have a full-out asthma attack. I'm allergic to their dog, it seems. And we'll eat lots of food, and go through photos of my mother because my brother wants to do a sculpture of her (did I say he's an amazing artist?), and just take it easy before we head back to the city, and our life of messy home, messy life, taxes, and lots of laundry and no dryer. This is the only family I have left, besides my own kiddies, and Mr. Handsome's mom and sisters, and I...

That wonderful, amazingly romantic and sickeningly nauseating commercial day is upon us once again. Yes, that's right, Valentine's Day is just around the proverbial corner. Please excuse me while I go find a hard surface on which to whack my head repeatedly. You may be getting the sense that I'm one of those Valentine's Day haters. Well, I am and I'm not. The only reason I don't like V-Day much is because it has become extremely commercial (what holiday hasn't?), and I'm thinking it maybe makes people forget that we're supposed to be kind to one another every day, not just the one day a year Hallmark chose. Having said that, I also enjoy it immensely because I usually get flowers and very expensive chocolates from Mr. Handsome, and sometimes even a nice dinner at a restaurant! Yes, it's all about me. What do I get him, you ask? Ummmmm...a card. And all my love, all the time, day and night. That's right. But not just any card. Oh no. It's...