Holy Mackerel

Although I have often spoken about feeling about a million years old these past few years, I honestly know what it actually feels like now, and I can also now honestly say that I AM OLD. Now excuse me while I sob into my fifth gin and tonic of the morning. So, I worked at my new library job last week, full days both Thursday and Saturday. The job basically entails a lot of shelving of books, moving of books, and not thinking too much about anything except barcodes, the Dewey Decimal system, and whether 906.1782346879 BLS comes before or after WHO GIVES A CRAP. You can pretty much say the job is a little mind numbing, but only in a good way. Seriously, though, libraries all over the world owe everything to pages (which is what my official title is, which is also a little funny because I'm a page at a library -- get it?). Without us, books and magazines would be strewn pell mell throughout the library, reference books on Floor 1 instead of Floor 3, and (god forbid) mysteries sho...

I've been working really hard these past few weeks, trying as hard as I might to get my Biology and Chemistry done. It's damn hard work, guys, going back to being a teenager when you're actually almost at retirement age, but feel more like you're about to hit the ground six feet under. In other words, instead of this: I am like this: but feel like this: Very confusing. I know. I can only imagine what college will be like in the fall, when I walk into the classroom on the first day, and everyone in there (including the professor) could easily be my grandchild. I can hardly wait. The prospect has definitely had me stressed out, to say the least. I am either going to be pitied, ignored, or laughed at. None of these choices are good. I can see it now: I am being tested in CPR, and I run out of steam partway into the examination. I just can't do it. I don't have the energy, the stamina, the wherewithal to bring the fake person back to life. But, i...